Where's the beef? In the basementHow many angels can dance on the head of a pin? 43
Does God exist? People
How can world peace be achieved? Globe
How can world hunger be eliminated? Hot cakes and sausage
How does Danny get hurt? Maybe
Do we really have free will? No
What is poetry? 21 numbers
Where's the beef? In the counselor's room
What is real? Real people
Where's the beach? On the sand
What is school for? Jumping
Who is Moses? The People's Court
What does sand taste like? Like A&W Root Beer
Why did you eat the toothpaste? Fresh and minty breath
Do aliens exist? Yes
What do they do? Eat pickles
Where do pickles come from? Las Vegas
Are pickles moral? No
What is moral? PM Magazine is moral
What's a pickle for? Broken
What's broken? The flowers are broken
Why? Are you so sad?
Does God exist? No or yes
What is life? The Greatest American Hero
What is death? Barney Miller
What's a good idea? Corn flakes are a good idea
What should I do with my life? See Jane Pauley
Where's China? In London
Where's London? In Houston
Where's Houston? In Dallas
Where's Dallas? Out
Where's out? Outta here
How do you feel? Scared about the big pine cones at 1:42 a.m. tonight
What do big pine cones do? Scare you and go away at 3:42 a.m. tonight
What do you learn at school? Math books and lying down
What do you want to be when you grow up? Industrial hygienist
What does an industrial hygienist do? Read newspapers
What's in your mouth? Teeth
What else is in your mouth? Gum
Where did you get the gum? Under the table
What do poets do? Drink coffee
What does coffee do? Drink your stomach
What do monkeys do? Jump up and down
What do psychologists do? Go do work
What is work? 2 + 5 = 7
Is communism dead? Yes
Why does the sun set? Because it is sad
Why does the sun rise? Because it is sad
What do Presidents do? Oopschlop
Should soup be illegal? Yes
Does God exist? Unwanted
Nature or nurture? Nature
Where's the beef? In 1974
Who made the universe? Abe Vigoda made the universe in 1994
Who invented math? Wink Martindale invented math in 1992
Who invented the calendar? Jack Anthony made the calendar on Saturday August 19th 1995
What did Shakespeare do? He played Jeremiah was a Bullfrog in 1925
What did Mozart do? Sang Monday Monday
What did Einstein do? Played Monday Monday on the radio in 1982
What did Picasso do? Drink red dye
Why does Chris wear a hat? It is good to wear a hat
Why does Eric fart? Cause he stinks and he wants to take a shower
Why did the dinosaurs die? Because they oopschlopped
What is language? ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ
How do you make coffee? By making 2 cups of water
How do you make water? By making 2 cups of coffee
Where's the beef? On HBO
What is hell? Hurting kicking and boxing
What's in a name? Juices
What is true love? Hurting
When did time begin? In 1976
Who is the Buddha? Ron Howard
What music do you like? Noises
Why? Are you screaming?
How will it all end? In 1962
How? Cause it's all gone in 1962
How? Cause it's so sad in 1962
How do you feel? Sad mad scared happy bored and unseen
Do you want more juice? Unpredictable
What does unpredictable mean? Not wanted
What isn't wanted? Not locked
What isn't locked? Opened the doors
What doors? Locked up
Why are we here on this planet? Thursday
Where did the universe come from? The map
Which is better: toast or danish? Toast
What is toast? Burnt
Who is Plato? A man
Who is Jesus? Superman
What does God say? Hi
What's the meaning of Christmas? Bigger pine cones
What do you need? Kiss and a squeeze
What is philosophy? Falling down
How long will the world last? 92 minutes
Pub. May 1998 DRC