published in Word Ways: The Journal of Recreational Linguistics (2000)
I tore out type ere I wrote, to type up top: upper typewriter row, pert repertoire. Reporter, I quote to you: To write, pop type out. Retire typewriter row two. Your tri-row? Rip it out, too. Tour your top row territory. Queer tip, you retort? I worry your poor typewriter? To torque it out -- typewriter terror? You require row two, your tri-row prop? You pout, try to quip. (Poor etiquette.) You titter. (Poorer propriety.) You utter uppity output? Quiet, you! Quit it! You purport to write. I tire to peer to your rot, your petty writ, to eye your wire report. You write pyrite, terrier to torpor. I pity you, preppie yuppie. I tutor you, tyro, to uproot your trite tree, put type to pyre. Rupture type. Write to write. I erupt. I riot. I prototype pure power to write. I, upper typewriter requiter. I outwit you, too. To perpetuity, I write poetry. You, to put it true, putter out rote poop.