Paul Blackburn
The Sea and the Shadow |
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It falls. The night falls the night sky falls a star, the eyes follow, my hand falls It is never enough / I am hardly ever enough even to myself . . I go I go through the streets I cross avenues, helpless against your anger I go pulverized through narrow streets with paving stones Let the walls fall, crumble, fall, crush me finally, end it the eyes / the hands Your cunt is tight with anger I can feel it a block away, your belly is tight your asshole is loose with disdain and fear
And I cannot stand it, your beauty walks beside me like a tree in motion under the wind of my desires, with standing them / standing in an emptiness not your own that you hate and feel it is your own , It is not, it is mine also, let me, that damned sea, I will come It falls. The half-hour would-be wholeness falls, the year falls, the mirror destroys itself / that year, a brilliant, at times quiescent star will fall into the sea I will come
I lie down / the trees are bright with resisting polished under the rain . have shed all their leaves Corridors of summer stretch out behind me endless like memory like I destroy myself running through open doors ' leading through empty rooms . Or there is someone huddled in a corner pissing / Yes. I humiliate my life, piss it away, I am my shoes, my black pair of sneakers walking corridors, deserted beaches, cement sidewalks, sit , now beneath a chair . torn . quiescent . my laces flopped sideways on the floor fit, however, to the foot, dingy shape of life smelling of dried sweat, revived at any warmth my worn fabric yes, the corrugations
I shall come shaping all truths from my own balls, seeking in my skull even those shaped years ago / I was too young, I looked for a shadow at ten in the morning which will not appear until four in the afternoon l my own with the sun from the other direction and everything failing
I will come, I shall come into your body as into the morning world, as into a city filled with its leisure and softness, where the soft light falls on the bird, the tree, the wall, where the sun of mid-day is lost on the shadows of palm trees arcades Fountains cool it I shall come through your eyes from the other side, my water, my mirror I will come into your belly and make it a sea rolling against me, come into you soft as sleep / and be real You will cry the whole afternoon
. [1961/1962]
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