THE UNDECIPHERABLE GESTURE


There is another place, another room that has haunted him besides the closet, a room that contains perhaps the answer to the question that has driven him here and now. Perhaps all the while he was probing inside the closet, all the while he was trying to decipher in the darkness of that hole the meaning of the gesture that pushed him there, the answer was elsewhere, in the other room, the room full of light, for it was not dark in that room, it was light in that room where they told him to wait after he emerged from the dark closet-hole, and it is in the light of that room, of that waiting room that it all started, in that antechamber of departure.

In that room there was a bed and a wooden table, he cannot remember if there was a chair to sit at the table, perhaps the table was not a table but a desk, this is not clear, in any case, a bed, a table or desk, and on the wall, the wall against which the bed was pushed, a picture tagged to the wall with punaises [how do you say that in English? ... yes of course, thumb tags], that picture, a representation of a sexy scene advertising a play, or a movie, a spectacle of sorts, a glossy picture depicting a nude pale female body, long and slim, stretched on a couch in rumpled sheets, a voluptuous young woman with black hair, her left hand suspended in mid-air reaching for her breasts, her right hand touching the black hole between her thighs, that's exactly how it was, and there, in that room full of light, with the bed, the table, and the sexy picture on the wall, there as he replayed the fear in the closet, he saw himself crouched like a sphinx defecating on an old newspaper, and he burst into laughter, the laugh laughing at the laugh, he was laughing at himself over there, crapping in the dark hole, and he knew then that, when the time comes, all this would have to be told in laughter and scatology, would have to be told from the light of the bedroom, rather than from the darkness of the toilet, yes he understood this as he stood naked between the bed and the desk looking at the naked girl in the picture, and reached with one hand for his head, and with the other for his cock.


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