experience and language as reciprocal ... recognizing
to a matter of degree /of unfast night/

experience awakened: invent and receive ... performance /recovered/ that recognizes multiple matters of degrees, an inclusive inventing, embracing also its emptiness-a matter and a transparency, roiling gently ... not /only/ language in the service of experience, experience and discourse timidly asleep together-an alchemy of experience into language, act of descriptive translation ... capturing the present concludes it into an idea of the past, a convention of history ... language supplying imagination limits the invented experience of language-or rather experience awakened to language ... it sweeps itself unawares into a discourse of the clearly immortal even if unfamiliar ... rather an unfast, a slow detached feast pausing for stretches into the quick of perception and collapsing the hierarchy of tenses ... rather what Robin Blaser, writing of Jack Spicer, says "involves a reversal of language into experience, which is not a dialexis between ourselves or a discourse true only to itself, but a broken and reforming language which composes a 'real'" ... language as experience, which starts the recovery of lost perception ... its illegibility expands the instant, shatters it into a plural feasible, breaks the poverty of camps (imagination, personality) troubled by experience and language loosened to blur into one another or self/self/other easily slipping into one another (yet these also being discrete and being both and none, does not have to be one ... not only which metaphor one values more) to publicly intimate a truce acknowledging their violent and painful origin, proclaiming the emptiness of origins, the legible futility of the original ... Leslie Scalapino's recovery of a public realm in which convention is not transparent but which consists of bodies in motion shaping speech, speech as bodies in motion; a public world recognized as phenomenological, and just as void of inherent meaning and existence as any other category (Nagarjuna) ... not to infuse nominal or conventional categories or actions or linguistic phenomena with negative value, or reflexion with nihilism ... already the gesture of bringing the recognition of the emptiness of the nominal or conventional into being is subject to this acknowledgment, soon misremembers/dismembers itself ... breaks /in order to/ re-form then to break again in a different place ... the murder of one shape suggests a plagiarized and embryonic occasion, unknowing and unraveling redemption ... night suspended, a puzzle prevails ... a shadow of its message when public desire resembles errant center leveling the several times ... intended encounters with ragged witnesses in the town square /merely/ dormant ... so to implant a gifted twilight with otherwise in a placed/displaced intervention has a result? ... this would imitate the orderly passion of the crowd, in which memory regularly survives in the abstract as linked motive ... perspective breathes, and is always around the corner from the calm structure of night, to which entrance is suspended ... /real/ events glide and morph /and/ here one finds the spell of the lingering particular, a deceptively calm place, /vividly/ remembered into subtle variations, memory's animation in action ... dissolving each particular lucidity into a palpable mist into which the syllable bird flies, sometimes (timidly) approaching commerce between branches of a contingent genealogy ... outside ourselves isn't what we feel it to be ... the /moment/ isn't fragile, the moment isn't ... neither is there a world exterior to life clear of consciousness, though we might invent it ... the conventional doesn't not exist ... it awakens to us ... we as other to a public discourse that holds meaning and historicizes it to partake of its solidified identity? ... rather historicize endlessly and with pregnant understanding of /each/ history ... we as other to ourselves, to a language creating rebel, an encountering something, a something encountering something else /outside/ in the public or outside a group, however amorphously spoken of ... there is no end to other, yet internalized, it's finite? ... travel a way to conceive words mattering and moving, pushing through language to experience- ... the infancy of syntax ransomed and scrapped, saved and frayed ... along tracks no truer than the words that would fix them, lovelorn for a defiant sculpting of rails ... odd thinking of the vehicle of awakened experience getting there ... arriving, it enters its polar realm and is immobilized, becoming compost, matters of degree, for roots in a more temperate zone ... believing that one thinks deeply, the depth composed of the layering of what is taken for granted as the "real" in private as well as in public ... muscles/synapses of private/public bodies shape activity (community) and discourse ... the "composition of the real" takes place on the surface of what is nominally interior or exterior ... acknowledgment /of depth's conventionality/ laced with despair is hierarchical, nostalgic for ideal states and measured self ... virginity was never like this ... but anyway, one doesn't mind saying that one "loves the night" while sensing the impertinence of the history of darkness