by Raymond Federman

what about these asses my friend I am endless when it comes to asses:


When one thinks of the millions and millions of people who have dreamed before Leonardo's MONA LISA, one can imagine their sweet smiles had he painted her ASS instead of her face. The ASS has captivated artists throughout the ages, and in their attempts to capture the delights of this ever changing shape they have given us an amazing collection of ASSES, for instance

the obscure asses of Rembrandt
the celluoid asses of Rubens
the pyriform and whiny asses of Cranach
the geometrical asses of Picasso's Cubist period
the long and supple asses of Modligliani
the exotic well-rounded asses of Gaugin
the mischevious asses of Fragonard
the morbid asses of Signorelli's Resurrection
the rustic but vicious asses of Ingres
the sumptuous asses of Tintoretto
the suggestive asses of Poussin
the gracefully balanced asses of Maillol
the asses-within-asses of Moore
the blossomy asses of Renoir
the skimpy asses of Dubuffet
the nervous asses of Goya
the angular asses of Holbein
the shriveled asses of Brueghel
the lyrical asses of Chassériau
the gushy asses of Bellmer
the shy asses of Matisse
the vulgar asses of Toulouse-Laurtec
the hollow asses of Giacometti
the intrepid asses of Schiele
the disfigured asses of Magritte
the insolent asses of Salvador Dali
the immense asses of Lipchitz
the shapeless asses of Courbet
the slick asses of Arp
the elongated asses of El Greco
the non-existant asses of Motherwell
the invisible asses of De Kooning
the minuscule asses of miniturists
the complicated asses of the Baroque painters
the puritanical posteriors of Copley
the elegant derrieres of Tissot
and all the glorious and anonymous buttocks of the Apocrypha.

Pub. March 2000