Jim Coyle: Excuse me, can we take a moment of your time? (Man: Sure.) What we'd like to do is acquaint you with the concept of threeism. Are you familiar with this?

Man: Pardon me?

Coyle: Threeism.

Man: Threeism? No, I'm not.

Coyle: Three people get together and merge their identity as one. Would you ever consider giving up your identity as an individual to be a third of one person?

Man: Is this a religious concept?

Mal Sharpe: No, no, it's just a spiritual idea that we have conceived with some other people.

Man: Uh, I'd have to know more about it.

Sharpe: Can we give you a demonstration of threeism?

Man: Right now?

Sharpe: Yes.

Man: Well, I'm kind of in a hurry. I have an appointment at 7:00 and I haven't eaten yet.

Sharpe: Could we accompany you to your meal and show you how threeism will work? We will help you make the selection of your food.

Coyle: There is nothing we will do that will not be a unit decision.

Man: Wait a minute now, that's two against one for me eating at my place. The dinner's ready!

(Overlap of voices)

Sharpe: Yes, we could eat dinner at your home.

Coyle: Can I ask you, what are we eating for dinner?

Man: I don't know yet.

Coyle: And how will you introduce us to whoever else is in the house?

Man: Well, how am I supposed to introduce us?

Coyle: How would you introduce us?

Man: These are two thirds of my personality.

Coyle: Would you do it? On a permanent basis.

Man: For the rest of my life?

Coyle: Right! Exactly. We're asking you to make that decision now.

Man: You're asking me to make that decision right now?

Coyle: Yes.

Man: Well, I decline.

Sharpe: No no no, there are three of us right now. If we could stay together, it would be so much better.

Coyle: Let us go away as one now! No more personal decisions on your--on your own part.

Sharpe: Hey, what's wrong–Why are you walking away–

Man: I told you I changed my mind.

Sharpe: You're walking away.

Coyle: What did you say we were?

Man: I don't want to be a threeist.

Sharpe: You said we were out of our minds.

Coyle: And you know it's just because you don't understand the concept because you've never been exposed to.

Sharpe: What are you doing? Getting an officer?

Man: No, I'm looking for the bus.

Sharpe: Let's go on the bus together.

Coyle: What are we trying to railroad you into?

Man: I don't know.

Coyle: Tell us.

Man: That's your concept. A better life.

Coyle: You're turning down an opportunity for threeism?

Sharpe: You are in our destiny.

Man: How do you know--who told you that?

Sharpe: You are the tertiary person, the triad.

Coyle: It's an awareness--It's an awareness of the meaning and the destiny of threeism.

Man: Who thought up this threeism?

Coyle and Sharpe: We did.

Man: When did this begin?

Coyle: Last week. We'll tell you honestly: it came to us and we accept it.

Man: There's my bus.

Sharpe: All right, we're going with you.

Coyle: May we go with you?

Sharpe: We haven't eaten. We haven't eaten in a long time.

Man: Neither have I!

Sharpe: Now we're getting on the bus with the gentleman. Are you going to pay the fare, sir?

Man: I got fifteen cents.

Sharpe: Now we're walking down the aisle of the bus with the triad person. Could we stand together as a triad here in the bus?

Man: I'm tired.

Coyle: Now isn't this the first example of threeism?

Man: Right.

Coyle: Suddenly, instead of yourself alone getting on the bus, there are three of us on the bus, right?

Man: (laughs)

Coyle: Isn't that true?

Man: That's true.

Sharpe: And we're riding to your home.

Man: Yeah.

Sharpe: What bus is this?

Man: 6 Masonic.

Coyle: And–Is it so bad? Is it so bad?

Man: Well, there's a lot of people on the bus.

Sharpe: But there's three of us together on the bus.

Man: This guy's as close to me as you are.

Coyle: He didn't speak with us. We haven't chosen him, as a threeist.

Man: Oh. But you've chosen me.

Sharpe: You have come into our destiny and you shall remain as thusforth, henceforth from the sixth Masonic bus to your home and forevermore you shall be with us. Is that not true? (Pause) Answer us thou to thy triad companions, waiting for thy answer.

Man: No.

Coyle: Can we tell you something?

Man: Yeah.

Coyle: This is a joke.

(All laugh)

"Threeism" was transcribed by Mark Peters from Coyle and Sharpe's new CD: Audio Visionaries-Street Pranks and Put-ons. Coyle and Sharpe's interviews were done with real people on the streets of San Francisco as part of a daily radio show in the early sixties.

Pub. March 2000

DRC