Claire Needs a Visit to the Bunny Planet
by Peter Balestrieri

          1. "We'll build a little nest…"

I'm following my client, Mr. Dominic. He's so capricious.

He isn't really skinny. We just call him that.
          Shirley Temple in Dimples

Easy on that jug, Son.
          Walter Brennan in My Darling Clementine

Be my ghost.

I heard a tiny voice coming from Dominic's stomach.

bathed in the golden light of an Autumn afternoon

Here you are and there you go.

Always trust in Allah but tie up your camel.
          Sindbad the Sailor

Simply lift his tail to open his mouth.

Maybe the Moon can talk but doesn't want to talk to them.

"Give us lots of lucky breaks. That's what I want for Christmas."

"Dad," asked Dominic, "why are there no actors like Neil Hamilton anymore"?

I need a fez.

I'm not impressed by his advanced weinerheadism.
          I interpret it differently: he's very delicate.

Use a Big Spoon

Dominic was moving through a small space and fell hitting a chair's edge with his upper lip near his nose.

One million's enough for me.
          It aint for me - I'm a pig.
                    Denise Darcel to Burt Lancaster in Vera Cruz

You were supposed to bust this guy, not join his cult!

The auctioneer in Return of the Bad Men is the barker with the chimp dressed as a farmer in Inherit the Wind, the barker selling snake oil in Whispering Smith, the barker of solid gold watches for a dollar in Guys and Dolls, the barker for the Mermaid in The Unconquered, and the barker for the shooting gallery in Friendly Persuasion.

They say of a two-faced person, "She eats saints and shits devils."

That's pretty radical isn't it?
          Yeah, but in a nice way.
                    Fredric March and Lionel Stander in A Star is Born

I don't know but it feels like we're being pecked to death by ducks.
          Kate Mulgrew, Star Trek: Voyager

Imperfect Speakers

Dominic says "that" instead of "yes."

Henry George - how can Poverty and Wealth exist side by side - United Labor Party

Jacob Riis - How the Other Half Lives

I knew from the first moment I saw you that you were dangerous for me.
I knew from the first moment I saw you that you were dangerous for her.
          Charles Boyer to Joseph Cotten in Gaslight

You're a goat.
          You're a pig.
You're a goat pig.

A Hundred Camels Is Not Enough

"Isn't It Romantic"

Good as bread.
          Spanish saying

What's the use of worrying about your beard if your head is about to be taken?
          "Granddad" in Seven Samurai

He's a good kid. When he sees you sweeping, he brings you the dustpan.

The Triangle Fire - 1911 - Manhattan

Perhaps it's the pile of dark, gelatinous balls, which, to many, don't exactly scream, "slurp me."

Chaplin - Five Keystone Shorts - 1914 - something about a choice between two things

The Heart and the Mind - what an enigma.
          Charlie Chaplin in Limelight

"The problem's right here," he said, tapping his forehead.

"Looks like all he needs is a Lava Lamp and some sitar music."

December 15 - Phantom smoke appears and disappears near the stove. We continue eating as though nothing has happened.

"Train Wreck" - that's your new name. How do you like it?

December 16 - While Dominic eats dinner the kitchen chairs begin moving.

You've got something in your nose.
          It's oxygen.

          2. "Somewhere out in the West…"

Pete, would you make me some cookies? I love saying things like that.

In loving memory of children lost at sea.

I smelled your spareribs and sauerkraut and had to come in.
          Dagwood Bumstead, Blondie

Spareribs and Sauerkraut
          4 lbs. Country Style pork spareribs
          4 lbs. sauerkraut (not canned)
          4 Granny Smith or other tart apples, cored and diced
          4 potatoes, scrubbed or peeled and cut into large chunks
          2 tsp. caraway seeds
          2 tsp. ground black pepper
                    1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees
                    2. Add ribs to roasting pan along with 2 inches of water
                    3. Add the rest of the ingredients and mix all together
                    4. Cover and bake for 2 hours
                    5. Bake for one more hour, uncovered for part of the time,
                      so that some of the liquid evaporates.

I hope Peter comes back soon from Washington. We haven't even started our Christmas shopping.
          Mary Jane Parker, Spiderman

Here Comes Trouble

I busta da jukebox, too.
          "Mr. Martini," It's a Wonderful Life

I Wobble Wobble
Mrabet in Iowa City
A Wobbly Poet Fights Back
A Wobbly on Wall Street

He's got a pair of dice that oughta be in the circus.
          William Demarest in What Price Glory?

It's a sin to waste bread.
          Jeanne Moreau in The Train

5 O'clock Shadow

You don't eat your toys so don't play with your food.

5 x 5 is 25
6 x 6 is 36

Caviar makes any party better, see page 19.

If you refuse me, what shall I do?
          Jeannette McDonald, "Indian Love Call"

What a way to go!
What a Way to Go!

On the Rocks

"As you can imagine, I've got a lot of anger you don't want to tap into."


Like a Tea Tray
Tea Tray in the Sky
The Shropshire Slasher

I don't care about being the first boy stowaway in space.
          "Timmy," The Invisible Boy

Soundtracks to On the Waterfront and One-Eyed Jacks

Benvenuto's shoes are worth more than the eyes of all those other numbskulls.
          Pope Clement, The Life of Benvenuto Cellini the end of fifty days I was completely healed and as sound as a roach.

Peter, what's wrong?
          Mary Jane Parker, Spiderman

          3. "And let the rest of the world go by."

Dominic fell over near the fence and began crying. I consoled him. At lunch we noticed a red mark on his cheek.

Death and Other Problems

When I arrived there I began to vomit, and as I was doing so I brought up a hairy worm, a quarter of a cubit in length. It was covered with long hairs, and looked repulsive, spotted with various colors, green, black, and red.
          Cellini, The Life of Benvenuto Cellini

This is Pete. He dances for nickels.

Welcome to the Charnel House.

Tie him to a stake at the water's edge and let the crabs eat his liver.

wild turtles

The toothbrush I saw on TV, the one that I wanted, is the one that I use now that I don't like.

I return now to the 16th Century where I belong.


You're the only whore I'm interested in, Honey.

Paradise is a busy place.
          Charles Boyer in Tovarich

winged monkeys

I'm not human.

Harry Davenport plays a judge in You Can't Take It with You and Harry Carey plays a judge in Mr. Smith Goes to Washington. Both pound gavels to restore order then smile and give up.

There are many proverbs in Iran that use the word, "walnut."

You got to have a dream
If you don't have a dream
How you going to have a
Dream come true
          "Happy Talk," South Pacific

In Curse of the Demon, the villain's name is Carswell. I work with a guy named Carswell. Coincidence?

"I'll see you somewhere in Dreamland
Somewhere in Dreamland tonight."


Say the word, lad, and we will have the bones hot from his flesh.
          Ivor Morgan, How Green Was My Valley

He is the blood of my heart.
          Rhys Williams in How Green Was My Valley

We've tried nothing and we're all out of ideas.
          Ned Flanders' Mom, The Simpsons

He's a boy who enjoys a display.
          I'd have to agree.

Now is pretty.
Love now.
I'm now.
Love me.
          Snow White, The President's Analyst

That's the first time I ever ate a turkey stuffed with a rabbit.
          Alan Hale, Sr. in Desperate Journey

A la mode doesn't just mean "with ice cream," it also means "with vegetables and a brown sauce." Like when Chill Wills serves Rabbit a la Mode in Boom Town.

Am I going to have to follow up on this with you?
          You have two heads.

The monkeys are swingin' on their swingin' swings.

"C is for cookie - that's good enough for me.
C is for cookie - that's good enough for me.
C is for cookie - that's good enough for me.
Oh, cookie, cookie, cookie starts with C!"

I have no uncle and he does not live in Philadelphia.
          Felix Bressart in Ziegfeld Girl

I'm grizzled.

I'm skittish, like a colt.
          You're more like a deer caught in the headlights, I think.

World's Smartest Fork!

Bring on the pork chops!
          Guy Kibbee in Three Comrades

Dada flowy

Q: What beverage has a bottle cap that features a devil's face and the words, "Trust me"?

"Adrienne! Find your voice!"

Less thorns means less flower production.
          Flower grower from Half Moon Bay

God told me to eat a stuffed pork chop and drink champagne before going to bed. What was God thinking?

My Dad gave my Mom a music box that plays "The First Time We Met." You can hear it in Crack-Up, too.

A bear is eating a fish.

Pub. May 2001