Cart Procurement
a Coyle and Sharpe transcript

Coyle: You're loading your milk truck here using some type of a cart, right? Not using your hands.

Man: I am loading with a tool.

Sharpe: What would happen if we took this cart that you have here and you had to carry this stuff yourself?

Man: I'd call the police.

Coyle: Why?

Man: Well–

Coyle: Don't we have a right to expose our views to others.

Man: Well, yes, but not in such a dramatic way and not before I've completed my route.

Sharpe: You were happier before you had the cart, weren't you, before you ever saw this cart?

Man: Well, before I started working I was happier, but–

Coyle: Have you ever done any hand-loading?

Man: Hand-loading? Well, actually this is considered hand-loading, it's just that the–

Coyle: It's artificial though, isn't it?

Man: Well, just a bit.

Coyle: Are you opposed to man?

Man: Opposed to man?

Coyle: Right. In favor more of his tools than man himself.

Man: Uh, no, I'm not opposed to man in this sense.

Coyle: Is this your way of taking a stand against man and mankind?

Man: I'm in favor of this man, you see. This back-to-nature bit, you know, this ice cream is already artificial. And the people that eat it are artificial. And I am in an artificial system of things. Uh, but um, you see, I am not the revolutionary type, I'm kind of a passive individual and–

Coyle: Then you've agreed we can have the wagon? Please.

Man: Well, what do you need it for?

Coyle: Life example. We need it to destroy it.

Man: I don't think my employers would understand.

Coyle: What would you be telling them? They'd ask you where is the cart–

Man: I'd have to tell them that I was accosted by two gentlemen, and uh, I'm not going to tell them anything because I'm not going to give you the cart! No, really!

Sharpe: Artificiality–you said the ice cream was artificial.

Coyle: Wagon procurement and destruction procedures approval from you–that's what we want.

Man: You're going to destroy this thing?

Coyle: Procurement and then destruction.

Man: Why don't you destroy your coats?

Sharpe: It's our minds that are different.

Coyle: Cart procurement–yes?

Sharpe: Say yes.

Man: No–

Coyle: Cart transference–

Sharpe: Say yes–

Man: No! I want to make an inquiry if I might.

Coyle: Certainly.

Man: Who are you people?

Coyle: We are a private group. It is our aim to bring people closer to that which is real, that which is related to the throes of all existence, that which is part of the cosmos. (Man, while Coyle goes on: What is your name?) This wagon is really uncosmological in the most full sense–

Man: What are you people called?

Sharpe: Torvis.

Man: Corvis.

Sharpe: Torvis.

Coyle: And I am called one of the spheres–This is the way I refer to myself and this is the way others refer to me, I am of the spheres, I am one of the spheres--Wagon or cart procurement.

Sharpe: Yes, yes.

Coyle: Please say yes.

Man: Well now, I don't want to take–

Sharpe: Yes.

Coyle: Would you care to become spherical?

Man: No, no, I'm, you know, uh . . .

Sharpe: You've agreed–Let's take the cart.

Man: No, no I really can't.

Sharpe: We're taking the cart.

Coyle: What were you going to say?

Man: This would be tantamount to thievery, would it not?

Sharpe: That's right.

Man: Well, I can't condone thievery.

Coyle: Cosmological identity even through theft.

Man: No, I don't value cosmological identity to this degree that I would permit you to take my cart.

Coyle: Is that final?

Man: I think so.

"Cart Procurement" was transcribed by Mark Peters from Coyle and Sharpe's new CD: Audio Visionaries-Street Pranks and Put-ons. Coyle and Sharpe's interviews were done with real people on the streets of San Francisco as part of a daily radio show in the early sixties.

Pub. May 2001