BEFORE MY CAT ATE
MOST OF IT
by Raymond Federman
[The numbers indicate the fragments left of the original lines. The rest must by now be in the cat litter box. We regret not to be able to offer the complete poem at this time. We are working diligently at trying to fill the holes. As soon as the poem is pregnant again, so to speak, it will be made available. We beg your patience. Any help you can give in reconstituting this poem to its original shape will be greatly appreciated] 1. We hve invnted a whol field of endevor: reminding ech other of wht w hve forgotten. Wht did you sy?
2. Mighty tired & disgusted I do the necessry work nywy then I stre or np I try to see how long I cn hold my breth Im getting better t it then I strt all over gin.
3. On the other side of the street the other one the smaller one the one with the french ccent is counting his hert bet per minute ... the first minute he counted 59 & 1/2 bets ... the second minute 12 & 3/4 he pnicked but the third minute the counted 126 even ... he felt better but he wonders now if he shouldn't worry?
74. The impulse is ded so is the ct the dog the left over beer in the opened bottle the ded chicken they te lst night so it goes.
231. Remember the old Bedle song "will you still need me when we is 105?" Who cn member tht fr.
232. Shall we dance? Shall we take a shower? Do we dare ate a banana? Shall we sing in the shower? Shall we....
1267. I am not blue we are not blue they are not blue blue me blow me below me low me down paint me blue with your blue stockings so that my blue balls can be blowing again etc.
1278. This pom usd to hav 3663 lins bfor th cat at most of it. It was so symmtrical and look at it now full of hols
1400. This poem used to be red but because of the rain it got discolored.
1402. Bum two asked bum one. Ace are you there? No Sam I'm not here. Answered Ace.
1436. Sam called the other day from paradise to say that up there everything is more real than everything.
2121. Every day they take a brain blocker & a belly blocker but nothing helps I am still constipated and when the two blockers collide it creates what is called a writer's block damn if they are not blocked!
3111. When I was an excon I used to brag about how I spent most of my life in chains in the slammer. But free in my skull.
3435. It is not a lie that when Honoré was on his deathbed he called the doctor he invented in his novel to come and save him but the doc couldn't come because he was balling Madame Hanska in the adjoining room. The damn countess coul 't wait for Balz to die to become a myth.
No Balz did not fuck the black panther at least not in the
version published in SHORT STORIES -- CLASSIC, MODERN, CONTEMPORARY,
by Marcus Klein & Robert Pack
for Little, n & Company,
Boston, 1967, pages 3-15, translated
3326. what is a snuff novel ?
Pub. May 2001