Ontological Commitment of Depressive States in Cyberspace
by Alan Myouka Sondheim

(I LOVE that title!)

Does depression bring depth? I sure hope so! Boy, can I get depressed! But what's the point if the writing's not terrific! Depression seems to get to the bottom of things, though! I even thought, well, my MOM, you know, is a _person_!!!! Have you ever thought about stuff like that?

I write as deep as I can. Sometimes I think, when I'm writing, this just makes TOO MUCH SENSE! I mean, like Freud said, you just can't say no! So I say the opposite and it comes out all right because THE OPPOSITE DEPRESSES ME and that tells me I'm right on the track!

I mean my DAD must be a person too! And if I continue to think that way, my teachers (well, NOT ALL OF THEM!!!!!!!! :-) ) as well! And then I have to think, ALL THESE PEOPLE! It's almost too much! I can't bear it! So many of them! I wonder what they're all thinking! Do they all think! I know I'm SPECIAL, they don't all think LIKE I DO!!!

Ha! I'll tell you something terrific! I'm writing this NAKED! That's why I say I can't "bear it," a pun, get it? Cause I can but you'll never know! I wonder if you're all naked too! I bet if you're a PERSON you are!!!

Wow, this is getting better! It's depressing to think about that and I know I'm on the right track! Do you know, here's another one - EVERYONE GOES TO THE BATHROOM!!! It's incredible. When I thought about that I thought, wow, even the President! And MADONNA! Can you imagine MADONNA!!! Wow, I can't even do that! Know why? IT'S TOO DEPRESSING!!!!

Why do they say BUCK naked? Who was buck?!!!! What do you think of GLORIA TREVI? I love Gloria Trevi! I can think of her GOING TO THE BATHROOM TOO because she's a real PERSON! (I know my MOM and DAD do cause I hear them!) I don't think ...que hugo aqui? was as good as her other album, the ANGEL thing. But heheheheh!!!! I just buy the music!

This is depressing! No one listens to GLORIA any more but me! You're learning ALL MY SECRETS (underline! underline!)!! Next time I'll write more about PERSONS and what they do (they eat and drink, stuff like that!). It's so incredible!


Pub. Feb. 1999