Streetlight chokes the night with magnesium figures and the angel forgets why he's left
the Lyceum, anyway.
On the stairs, a chair-shaped man offers a comic apologia, apologia.
Distrust endings. Listen for
beetles munching at finality's delicate lattice work. Feel your body crack and disappear
into the delicate curve of ear, until you become
the listening, the ache,
the longing to hear.
What's soul, anyhow, but a turning out of pockets?
Where is it that you said we find now? Ah, in the timesomeness of things:
Wine soaked fingers tug at the edges of a beard, each fugitive hair gone an oily
red and gray.
Worth its weight in hair-shirted ablutions, loss counts for something.
With everything buckety and leaking from rusted seams,
there's no way to hold
what goes. What stays? Gulls
mutter an empty parking lot.
Okay, the "I" as anthology of what's been
seen--. Experiences crowd
like puckered carp peering through
a frozen sheath of river.
The moon, adjectival, slides across the unconscionable curvature of space,
and as night falls always through each thing we'll ever love, could you expect a fabulist's bottom-
line to sum it all up? Give us this day
our daily nuance
to which we are delivered. And in the plain meaning of things, empty
hands project shadow tricks against a proscenium arch.
Desire's cheap says the angel, reaching for the last cigarette in his pack.
Å Mise en scene
It isn't all about desire, about needing what lies
at the edge of the eye's horizon.
Say
it is winter, and through the snow
a dark figure-a man--crosses
a bridge between you and there. Say
he stumbles back,
his pink tongue uncurls like a comma as he calls your name,
any name as he falls, that is if
he does, over
the side, his scarf spread
above him like an upper lip, narrowing
against the winter sky.
How would you begin to describe it with words hollowed out by sound?
And how does this occur to you later, recur as syllables
and each vowel offers seemingly
the place where you'd want to invent a new beginning
but there is no new place that lies fallow, unburdened by appearance.
Instead you repeat to yourself: The paddock door
is unlatched or
the burner
of the gas stove
is wide open
and anxiety sets the world in motion:
an incantation for
the universe stretched taut like the brim of a bowler hat into which
Houdini pours
a pitcher of bourbon.
Or maybe it'll come back the way it did for Mary Rowlandson, as a series of removes: "But now I must turn my
back and travel with them into the vast and desolate Wilderness, I knew not whither. I can remember the time
when I used to sleep quietly without workings in my thoughts."
But memory is pixallated,
flickers horizontally and
(did you try
the vertical
hold?) the screen grows hazy
like the cigarette smoke darkening Rod Serling's
Botany 500 suit on a plastic black and white TV set .
.
Indirection as a means of accounting--the scarf was red, his boots untied,
but yes you see still he did fall--and his fingers
splayed apart--as if the right details could quarry
the moment before our eyes
but the truth
is you can't really say
what belongs, can you?
So invent a plot by which he is brought
to the edge of the bridge, which gives the authority
for the figure to slip.
Wait, did you make the whole thing up?
(It'd be so much easier if it made sense)
Telling is how we gather, whatever its worth, the ordinary
and how we are fashioned--bewildered (and it is, as Rowlandson said,
a wilderness)--
by a language in which nothing appears or
disappears, but draws
closer in--as the hushed crowd
circles Houdini and his empty sleeves.
Think of a mirror would you as a shoring up of trust
as a place to start, a place to agree
sequins
spin and wobble across the bedroom floor
yessing this moment into the next--
(sequence)
What happened next? The reflection does not hold.
The facts interrogate the space of a moment
while you
woke and fell over woke and fell over
the terror of partial knowledge
only to begin
to begin again.
Now a quarter whirls and clatters along
a tabletop collage of broken glass and coral.
But don't forget too the snow
and the bridge
and the man
who fell, not falls, and that
never
changed.
•••