disoriented pg
Can you possibly understand what it means to live a successful life?
Now wait a minute. There is no way to define a successful life
If I dedicate myself to healing you, am I healing myself
How do you heal me
Ah, how do I approach healing you
Is it—closer?
Am I closer—to myself?
You can expect something real inside something not real
Ah, the only hope I have
The colorof things is a far away attribute
You can kill me with color
How?
Let me count the ways
(shot)
If you hadn’t brought up the subject, it might never have happened
Talking to a dead man?
Let’s go back in time
Why do I suddenly like being in this new world?
Up til recently—a week? A month? It was environments drenched in antique mood, or at least, relatively drenched—older atmospheres, vistas.
Twists and turns af aged, mellow environments on a human, heretofore called human, scale. And then—out of the blue—pow
A pace that is—no place
Here I am
Losing it
I do like this new world that, up to recently, why, why, why do I like it now and I didn’t like it before
Why am i able to flaot now, successfully, when heretofore I resisted,
and dreampt of atmosphere.
Struggling, as we are
with something
non-pin-down-able.
Because
it’s in here
gaps
spaces
I can’t pin it down
Let me turn on my computor
It’s on
Let me operate in terms of this computor
Who is that
Everybody
Who exactly
Everybody
It isn’t me
Everybody
(Paus)
This is e;lusive
Wait a minute. My computor is on
My computor is on
My tv is supposed to be receiving—but. it’s sending
Hello is not a good world because it’s too late
Hello
It’s already happed
Hello
Don’t say hello becaise it’s already happened
You can’t see it
You can’t see me
If I am everywhere, then it means, you can‘t see it. Me. It’s me
Between your fingers—it slides. Saying here I am, in order to disappear
I am the angel of death, since everybody dies sooner or later
Get it over with
Get it over with
end the surprise
Like my city
Like my city of death
Full of lunch
Full --or a certain launched vehicle
hurtling
Fast, towards openings in your head
at the city limits
Speed and destiny
Enough air to breath so a bad life can turn itself inside out
If you don’t understand me, that’s why I’m so evervescent, so powerful
so much a part of your own bloodstream
You do know, that you are here to bring love into the world. This is your responsibility. You do not act, you recieve. But alas—you act.
There’s no time like the present.
(clocks were climbing the stairs)
This is the time of inside out
And a very old “tune” is re-shuffled into approximately two million receptacles of consciousness
but is rehearsed as one note in different guises
There is no time like the present
What you mean by that is up for grabs
(all rise from card table)
notice—we’ve bee playing with blank cards
OK. And when I pass my fingers over these blank cards (what happens)
It could be—under water. Adrift
There is no way to recognize this teritory
These rocks make it hard to live
Hard to sit on a chair which has a rock in the middle of the cushioned seat
Hard to play the piano when the piano keys—
Yes
Let’s get rid of these rocks
Yes. But nobody moves to do that
(Crash)
That was not a rock through the window
Could rocks be cash?
What do you mean
I have cash in my pocket
(Pause)
I also have a rock in my pocket
Guess what. Sometimes my sexual organ gets hard, like a rock
Like right now?
No, right now, that’s not the case
I say things, under the pressure of ideas.
Can I bake a cake?
It explodes of you bake it wrong
Look, a cake
It doesn’t explode
What?
I have more rocks than I need.
The world is in flames. And I have to arrogance to concern myself with other things.
What do you mean the world is in flames
You’re being lied to
OK.
No to all subtle aspects of reality
Yes to profit
Yes to profit
What does it profit a man to win the whole world if he loses his own soul
I seem to be going deeper, all the time
Here is one available object. A solid, gold brick
Everything has been said. But things can always be repeated
I have no access to-
--Here is a wise man.
Here is opportunity, dressed for adventure
More than enough. This is . . .more than enough
When there is no fire, then. . .there is always, more than enough
Sit here and listen to me
Here is a man who, contrary to all expectations, brought to the world fire and light. His name was. . .
Here is what could never be expected
ere is a man returning to his sources
Never before
has such a man been deep into my own imagination
Let is call him the divine one
but let us not speak in such surpulatives unless we are indeed ready for trouble,
by which I mean—trouble.
He alone can answer and attend,
he who has taken such hold of me and my heart
Is this the man of light, or—
is this the man of darkness
His smile. . .is enough to hold me
One planet, gradully approaches a second planet. Caastrophy is immenant
There is no atmosphere in space
Is science the manner in which man comes to know the world?
Does he know satisfaction?
In this life, there is a satisfaction that is brief only
Does he experience hunger? only when he is distinguished from that single thing that feeds his ehole self
Does he escape the normal limitations?
yes, but then he finds extraodinary and heretofore un-imagined limitations
Does he seek. . .protection
If there were no pain
illusion would win .
Win everything. Pain the the mightiest God
On the verge of a breakthru
which is the realizaton, there is no breakthru, ever.
Sexual desire can seem to take us to the heights of invention and energy that invograte like madness. But it’s really life, useing us, expoloiting us, simply to make more life.
So come down from those heights!
Everything is like that!
There is no way to know what’s really hapening.
The world is on the cusp of a great lip-flop.
EVERYTHING IS LIKE THAT!!!
(We are just bits
inside those bits, local epiphenomenon (Lacan, etc)
Jossel us to produce, perhaps, new global configuration, to spit out other patterns. Local josseling)
YOU MUST CHANGE YOUR LIFE!
(Withdraw from this josseling crowd, using you like your insticnts which as just --LIFE using you. . .)
Thought molocules
(retard talk)
Thought molocules
grinding my head
like bambo bundles
stretch stretch
my mind is a
cry baby with no
babble possible
After outside adventures
I like tea and crackers
eating stuff for muscles
I accidentally
start my brain
going backwards in time
My favorite mental guynasium
is too tough
for my best pal
Me
I COULDN’T TALK
COULDN’T SPELL
COULDN’T DANCE (DID ALONE WAN LAKE)
DIG SAME HOLE
GASSNER ‘REPEAT EFFECTS’
FIRST PLAYS NO DIALOGUE
RADICALIZE YOUR IMAGE, REFINE IT
You have an essence
contingincies are world. The world (contingincies) test your essence
not
joinging who you are through world
but
who you are
tested
castration= method of return us to ourself
kate’s illness
separates me from world
repetition
manical- living theater idea of repeat phrases
killing woman
protect self again woman’s liviness (demand serve desire)
awake desire, deny it
Life: creates desires that can’t be fulfillnes (or kill “you”)
accident of making re-production work
create playland
pain
WHY NOT TAKE THE FUN OUT OF LIFE
The sun power of a true STRETCH of time
The fetch-it of frustration
I speak the truth
and then expect the world to follow me into that realm.
But of course it can’t, because to enter the realm of the truth
is to become, unable to act or function
This is going to hurt, but try it.
This is step number one. He or she, comes into the alien landscape, and looks for a human face.
Or something. . .resembling a face.
Having looked directly at the object
eye-contact is established,
You You You
You sho hide from me
valuable treasure
You you you
who breathe when I breathe
stealing particles of air
from my ungs
OTHER PEOPLE
Her come OTHER PEOPLE
They threaten to take my place
they threaten to superimpose their own mouths
upon my own mouth, and. . .
Let me cut you a piece of this pie
(Make people smile)
Let me cut you a piece of pie
I neer thought this would happen
What
That you would offer me. . .
When you think about it—surprise me
Defocus..
Pile up stuff
then surf on that stuff
Defocus
(two musics)
You should know abouty this.
Then. There was a silence. A void.
But still, you should know about this.
Nobody said what. Should know about what
You should know about this
OK. What?
(Pause)
Is there something important, I should know about
This is the shape it takes. Can you see this shape
You should know about this
There is a shape here, and a certain feeling
Moving into un-charted territory
Isn’t that what’s always hapening
Well, invisibally, yes. But now it’s visible
Ah, you must be disoriented
Oh yes, very disorientedDISORIENTED
This is an invention of the mind, this disorientation
Help me, help me.
Disortientation
I have no real brain power. – but craziness? Only not enough.
Disorientation, just for the sake of—
--Yes, I know I am a bad person.
I bet you have a secret motive
TIME WAITS FOR NO MAN
(footrace)
People are going under the covers to change their clothes
People are going under the covers in order to perform sex acts
Oh, sex acts, sex acts
Oh, save me from partcipating in sex acts. Save the whole world from being manipulated by sex acts
Let me out of this box
(retard talk)
the world decides to change in invisible ways
Suddenly, what was invisible looks like a big, apple in space
When I bite something, it turns on its internal orbit—wow!
Now that I am inside the sky—
my losses make me a wide person
True to form, I land on an island of small particles
There is a city
poised
waiting to be destroyed
and I, me
I am deep inside this city
on the brink of catastrophy
Reversibility
built into human world
To say a, is to say non-a
Everything mental—is it’s opposite
The world is not interesting
if this is not the case.
A leads to b, but secretly to b 2 at the same time
Otherwise
evolve, to achiecve all, but why?
Things twist back, deformed
to re-seed
what
(Different people must MUST
live in different ways
Doing different things
Live in different rivate worlds)
THINGS TWIST BACK IN THEMSELVES
THERE IS ALWAYS A TWIST
THAT PRODUCES NOT (OPPOSITE) BUT UNEXPECTED
ETERNAL LIFE? PRODUCES NO REASON TO LIVE. LIFE VALUABLE BECAUSE IT’S SHORT.
If we are not peverse and twisted, we are uninteresting
Our hopes—deep desire—is for twisted
ie. Life complexifies in man to produce
(things like) computors’
that digitalize man
(and de-complxify, so what’s the point?
Most people don’t want the twisted, but want goods, power, ease.
Then, find life ‘empty’
Must learn how to ‘twist’ things
renew life: only paradox re-done
thinking about world. American, social forms. Science
Think about soul, unconscious—how we operate and part of our operation is hidden,
we have tools we employ
that we don’t see
Life provides ingredients
that are then cooked (in us)
to make new mix (food)
that feeds other p[arts of the self
that lays dorment
(multi-faccuted)
Make are with your nerves—
release synaptical energy
that is circuted by life in certain pathways
Life as it is re-inforces certain connections
But
man is OTHER POSSIBILITIES
released by accident, etc
If accident eliminated—
lots of man SHRIVILS
How does one live in such a world
Here is money. If you are willing to do such and such, I will give you more money
But I’d rather not. I feel un-fulfilled-- and challenged only if I do otherwise
Then I will not give you more money
(Get’s hame and hits self)
Ok. I will do such and such.
Good. Here’s your money
Wait a minute. Do I need this money? Yes. I need it to feel good
What do you mean by good?
You know. There’s something inside me that needs it
What
Money
No. I said, what do you mean by GOD when you say FEEL GOOD
Energized
Sup[pose there was lively music all the time. Would you feel energized?
Yes
Then you would feel good
Yes. But at a certain point, that wuld change probably
Please, please, please--
No. That won’t worl
How do I live in such a world
that values money above all other things
Isuppose you have to immigrate to some oter world
OK. I’ll do that
the thing
fall ino symbolic to create the self
something is lost thereby
art, make us vibrate to that loss
so, bottom liners, digital consciousness
methods of thickening baracades againt what was lost
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books pg.