Supreme beings: pg

The fighter planes say

we are alone on earth.

Therefore to speak is an exercise in futility



No, you fighter airplanes are not alone


We occupy an unreachable realm of being, we are therefore alone


I see you, I speak to you


We are blind. We are deaf. We have no tactile sensation

We consider ourselves the must frustrated of beings and drop many bombs without hesitation


Please don’t.

(Pause)

Please don’t drop bombs, please don’t hurt people


The one thing we lust for is aesthetic sensibility, but that too is denied us.


I’m sorry. I do sympathise with a hunger for aesthetic sensibility-- but don’t express that understandable frustration through dropping bombs


It has been said, in previous eras, that when bombs explode-- seen from the clouds, this produces an aesthetic sensation



(Pause)

Bombs kill people


Airplanes eventually crash. Airplanes--


Fighter planes?


(Pause)

Airplanes eventally run low on fuel, and start falling from clouds toward earth.


Ah, here you are--


This beginning to die. This-- descent of the realm of human beings--


You are no longer alone, airplane. Let’s have our photograph taken together


No


Why not


--Haven’t you heard? Photographs steal the soul


Haven’t you heard? Airplanes have no soul. That’s why they seek out the earth, and human beings--


No, fighterplanes do not seek out the earth, nor human beings


For that reason, unhappy fighterplane, you feel alone. Isolated--


It is not my lonliness which worries me.


--I can tell by your tone of voice--


--Surrounded by people who cannot speak--


We’re speaking--


--Who do not speak-- shall we say they do not speak my language?


Do you hear the sound of your own voice, at least?


(Pause)

My proper discourse, comes not through words, but through the penetration of space-- total space is available to me


Not higher than the highest clouds, however--


That’s enough.


Is it enough? Escape from this room, show me.


Escape from what.


You’re in a room, airplane. Escape from this room


There’s nothing to escape from here.

(moves, as others open doors and enter, and first woman exits)

I can’t escape.


I bet you can escape if you try


--I bet you can’t escape even if you try. There’s a ceiling to this room as well as walls.

(Pause)


You see, we know something about airplanes


Fighter planes


Yes indeed


Better than you know ourself possibly


Once-- this was a long time ago-- I invented an airplane with banannas for engines.


That was quite an invention. I , on the other hand, invented a cheese sandwich with wings. It flew towards people who were hungery


Break through arificial walls, airplane. We can help


We’re human beings. We’re very inventive


If we open this door-- what would you like most of all to find hiding behind this door


(Pause)

The sun


You want the sun? I’ll show you the sun

(Opens)


I see it.


Having seen it?


It’s enough. It’s everything


No, airplane-- it’s not enough.


Don’t you like vacations?

Don’t you like meals in resturants?


I like sunlight


Don’t you like the ocean?


I’m afraid of falling out of the sky and into the ocean


Don’t you like pictures of beautiful women? Here’s a snapshot--


I’ve carried a photo of a beautiful women, glued to my dashboard as I rose through space--


(woman at door)

Could I come back in?


You just did


I mean-- can I stay now that I’m here?


Isn’t that what “can I come in?” usually means?


Yes.


Fighterplanes and I are friends, am I right?


(Pause)

Yes.


See if you can make any sense out of this story--


Fighterplanes never understand stories


What do they understand


I bet they understand adventures.


Fighter planes experience adventures-- but their obcessive concern is to lift out of adventures-- to much greater heights


--To even greater adventures


You understand nothing because you inhabit the earth, human beings


You understand nothing because your head’s in the clouds, airplane


And who’s perspective is advantageous?


Ok-- What treasures do you bring back from your days exploring the earth from great heights?


(Pause)

From great hights, things turn small enough to vanish


Ah, what a disappointment--


But fighter planes maintain contact with the invidible-- radio contact


That’s one of the reasons airplane feels uncomfortable in this room. He misses having a radio in this room


This is true.

If there was a radio in this room I might, now, turning it on for myself,

hear-- intuition-wise-- what I missed, or lost, in my meticulous exploration

high over cities and countryside--.

Nothing like human memory you understand, but instead

--like a broken self, a broken me,

and in those cracks

the wind of real things at last, through a radio--

invisble but touching me.

so that I re-imagine a world entire,

living the rest of my life forgetful,

asleep,

sensing whatever purpose I managed to evade as I slid sideways through the wrong door titled "obligation through this door' --and I was almost in the lost and found department for an eternity

--which could never decide whether it was the land of the lost or the the land of the truly--

FOUND at last!


Should I try to make sense of that story


Was I telling a story?


It seems to me-- that in a certain room,

a certain radio was absent.


*





Once upon a time each room contained a radio.

Now, no radio in no room.

In a certain hotel

plans were made

to broadcast from a tower on the roof of the hotel--

radio broadcasts.

But such plans never came to fruition.

Nevertheless, the name of this hotel

was the Radio Hotel.

How often has a name been less than appropriate?

In this case one could understand why the name was chosen,

even though it was no longer appropriate.

Having once been to a certain extent an appropriate name

there was now a pause

in thought.

Through that pause,

thoughts from another space

bled-- leaving the residue of a name.

Radio Hotel!

No blood staining yet the walls of the Radio Hotel.

Silence-- radio reigned!

And the Radio Hotel

closed inside itself

the lost proclivity it broadcast

towards street wards

those who passed or entered

or passed through as guests in the

Radio Hotel.)


"Hotel Radio-- hello, radio Hotel"


Can I help?


No. But help.


It's one of my favorite words. No. It's my favorite word.


I help whenever I get help


The more times you can use the word help in a sentence, the more it helps.


Help myself.


Help yourself.


Help yourself to the word help, which is how I help myself.


(Pause)


Help yourself to some fruit.


I don't think I should eat right now.

(Pause)

One of the most potent ideas I ever had, ever, was the idea that in the center of the fruit was a pit, and the pit was the radio in the center of the fruit. And the whole fruit helps-- the radio in the center of the fruit.


My ear; helps.


My ear was help also.


Does this help? My ear helps.


(Pause)

Have some fruit now


Eat it, or let it turn into the radio that it is.


In the Hotel Radio, the fruit placed in bowls which sit on small tables in each room-- no radios in rooms, but fruit in rooms, and in the center of the fruit, is a radio.


(Pause)

I imagine walking down the street and seeing the letters painted on the stone wall of the building I pass to spell the words "Hotel Radio". Then I imagine a round fruit-- just it's image, painted on a stone wall. And I imagine a ray of energy, traveling through the stone and emerging from the stone to fly over the whole city. This helps. This imagining this thing helps.


What does it help?


(Pause)

It helps me. If I try to say what it helps-- me-- that separates me from myself and that does not help. So I do not explain why it helps, even to myself. I just say and know, it helps. Which is much like being in, or traveling towards, the Hotel Radio. Just remembering it, even from inside one of its rooms, and I don't know if there are many such rooms or only a few-- but it helps.


It helps.


Hello, this is a part of the hotel radio, and it helps.

 

_______________

Self discovery in a Hotel? This does not seem possible

(bring in)

What's this?


Food


I don't want food


(Pause)

You don't have to look at it


Wait a minute. Is this to eat, or watch


You can only watch it if you use powerful concentration. Otherwise, eventually appitite wins out and it ends up in the stomach


(Pause)

Take it away, please


Whatever you say


--Take it away please

(Goes)

What I said was enough to make it happen. Wait a miute-- do I want a radio in my room? or will that make it difficult to know whether or not it's me doing the talking


(In radio)


Where shall I put it


I'd rather have my suitcases delivered


Soon


when


soon


When is soon


The radio could take your mind off your problems


Is that true?


Sometimes


Plug it in but don't turn it on


No. You plug it in


(Pause)

Just put it on the table


(done, gone)


Self discovery in a hotel. This does not seem possible.


This could perhaps be the play in which entering a room-- me--an individual such as myself with no special qualities visible to one who is placed outside me and is only able to observe me from that same outside of my body and my consciousness both


This could be the play in which everything is different


Yes


Everything. I pick up this egg from the plate


That would seem to be the end of something. And therefore the beginning of something else


Yes


But everything is different


Yes

Is this the world you were talking about?


Yes

What kind of a life is lived by somebody with no holes to patch closed


There are doors and windows in every room


Not my kind of a room


Doesn't the brain spin sufficiently?


Mine?





"Special Talents" (a title)


The universe uses me, I'm afraid. What I mean is-- therefore I have to hold on tight


Does it spin


It spins me


You spin internally


(Pause

Yes. Internally


But if I look close, I should be able to pick up on that


That must be a spcial talent


No-- you're the one with the special talent


I dodn't say so


(Pause)

You didn't have to say so.

Hello


I am not myself


Well, in a certain sense I am not myself either

Be happy


What makes you happy

Waiting to be with somebody whom one is not with. Waiting to be with somebody whom one cannot be with


(In window) Smell the flowers, Maestro


Do not mock me


Well-- they're your flowers


For that reason, I can hardly avoid smelling them-- permiating the room as it were in regards to odor-- However your point is well taken. One's NOSE becomes acclimated.




I think we can agree. Life has conspired against me


We don't agree at all


Are you that blind?

(Pause)

From where arrives my bitterness, my despondancy


I have no idea


(Pause)

I blame the lottery of life for dealing me, genetically, a pre-disposition to such negative emotions.






I do not like-- think not, I like being in front of what I call 'people' and you call 'myself'. Now-- let us join minds and proceed through this combination of mind power into discovery and adventure

(Pause)

Ah, nothing comes up immediately. Perhaps we need help.


(enter)

I think there'd be better functioning if you'd lie down


Isn't that a vulnurable position?


I'd call it relaxation


Ah-- were I to lie down do you fantasize a second body physically rising out of my first body and that collaboration could be fruitful?


What collaboration


Myself with myself


You tell me


I did


I only hear one person talking


I didn't lie down


Try it


(Done)

Don't think I like this.


There isn't much that you DO like, am I right?


(Sits up)

Ah-- am I now talking to the second me that just rose up out of my recumbant physical self?


(Pause

Then we should shake hands--

(Offers, not taken up. Pause)

Perhaps you don't need me

(Exit)

What adventures you must have had


Mind adventures only


Don't disillusion me


Oh? Isn't that enough to keep you interested for a few hours?


Nothing holds me that long


I call that adventurism


Which is why I turn to you for guidance


Entertainment?


Certainly not


Good

(Pause)

On that basis and on that basis alone, I am wiling to speak about my so-called adventures


(Pause)

Go on


On yes, I am dpoing that


You mean you can hardly stop doing that


Going on and on and on. You follow me this far?


I can hardly stop doing that

A terrible face that appeared as I opened my eyes


Did you open your eyes to make it appear


Did I what


Did you make it appear?


(Pause)

By opening my eyes, yes. I made it appear


What did it look like


I can hardly remember


But it frightened you


I woke up screaming


Ah-- then you were asleep when you saw it, but your eyes were already open


(Pause)

Yes


This is not clear


Right

(Pause)_

Not clear at all


Does my face remind you of anything?


(Pause)

While I'm looking at it I can't tell


Then feel free to look away


(Done, pause)

I can't see it


Is it frightening


Oh no-- only when I remember that other face am I frightened


(Goes to wall points to picture)

Imagine for a minute that this face was looking at you rather then at the object under observation. Would it frighten you


It might


(Pause)

OK> Perhaps we should leave you alone


Why not

(Others go)

This is painful. This-- being left alone

(Pause)

Yet why am I left alone?

I know the answer. I drive them away from me because of the degree of my mental concentration

(One returns)


What is it, really. This sex thing


I want to eat you alive


All parts?


Yes.


The parts that smell bad?


Yes


Who's talking


You're right. I have two levels-- one level that wants to eat you alive, and the other level that is disgusted by such an idea and pulls away into more spiritual concerns


What part left the room


Don't think you know

(Pause. Left goes and gets doll, devours, others re-enter. He stops and puts it away).

Would you like to visit another planet


Yes. I certainly would like to do that


(Pause)

Not yet. You're not ready

(out. Re-do doll. Stops by self, puts it in chair)

Are you alive?

(Pause)

On some level. I think you are alive

(END OF A PLAY)



How can I come to the end of this experience, which is unsatisfactory, with no end in sight, and yet make that very fact an end,

and an end that is satisfactory as an end--

fulfilling in it's very experience of being not-fulfilling

(Pause)

Who can deal with this

(All enter. Put on a record, then add more.

Stagger, fall)

This is less than frightening








This is not something I can prove


Rigor


Rigor?






The total circulation of my emotions leaves me exhausted

(Pause)

Probably not exhausted-- rather with a distaste for what heretofore appealed to me. Every kind of sweetness


This is not something I underatand


You don't have to understand me


No-- this was not my train of thought


It's my train of thought, God damit





I'm being manipulated by your emotions

(Pause)

You are very forceful


Well, I meant to be persuasive

(Drawer. Orange)


I was keeping this for you


Why does this make me uneasy?


It's just an orange


Oh, I do see that


But if it makes you uneasy-- it makes you uneasy. Si I'll put it back in the drawer


(Done)

I think that has something to do with it


What


An orange in a drawer


It's not un un-pleasant fragrence


Ah, you mean if I were to join it in an adjacent part of the same piece of furniture


Oh. I don't think you could fit into that particular piece of furniture


Probably not


(Pause)

You're too large


(Pause)

Where did I put my gloves?

(Open same)

Ow!

(slam shut, hold face)

I'm sorry

It was a trick


What was a trick


(Pause)

Here-- let me manipulate this panel

(Revolves. Book)


Ah. The secret book

(Pause)

But when you said it was a trick-- that refered to something that already happened previously


Don't be predjudiced against me


Was I


Oh yes


That was before. I'm talking about now.


I must have a bad memory


If you have it, it's not bad, if it's bad you don't have it


I think the trick is right now


Right


The trick is, finding it


The real trick is hiding it

(Pause)

I guess I did pretty good

(Exit)

This is not my way of understanding the world


--I haven't said a word


Ah yes. You haven't unpacked your suitcase, but your suitcase is stuffed full and my x-ray eyes are capable of penetrating that suitcase


My suitcase must be invisible


That's how it works.


(Pause)

I just made a misstatement


Of course


I said, --I haven't said a word. And then I did-- start speaking. So in retrospect


--See how confused you are?


(Pause)

Time wise?


That's not my way of looking at things


Time wise?


Don't believe everything you read


Well, for instance, the sun's down so it must be night


Ah, if you could locate a window, you'd have the basis for a possible argument


How come there's no window


That's not my way of understanding the world


(Pause)

How come there's no suitcase


I was using a verbal mechanism


Me too


No. You were, and are, being used by a verbal mechanism.

(Pause)

Ah, you think you can escape by not talking


No


You talked


Yes.

(1st exits)

Well, there may be no window, but there certainly is a door.

(Goes. Then 1 re-enters. Pause. Then 2 re-enters. Stops, looka around the room by turning in place)

This is how I understand the world. And I think my way of understanding the world takes prescidence

(pause, goes)


Not any longer


(Looking back in the room)

I forgot to tell you. There's a window in the next room


The sun is shining

(Goes)


As far as I'm concerned, that means it's daytime. Which is unimportant to me, because my life has been from the contraints of time passing.

(Pause)

That's what I tell myself-- though it's not a hundred per cent-- but I don't care whether or not anything is a hundred per cent, because nothing is.

(Pause)

What an adventure.

Theories release energies.


Let us: suppose, that consciousness is a way of lying about the world


Ah, what energy are we about to release.


Let's find out


You mean. lets let the world find out for us--


Yes, but is any of this possible if consciousness is a way of lying about the world?


We certainly don't want to abandon such a productive theory before it's had a chance to flower into a few rare and valuable exoticisms


We feel the need for exoticism?


Oh yes. At least I do


Because of a jaded pallet?


No. I'd rather say because of unceasing mental agility


OK> Consciousness is a way of lying about the world


Does that make the world a friend of consciousness?


I see-- it could be a method that insurfes privacy


Consciousness-


The world, of course, has to be postulated as desiring privacy


Doesn't everybody?

(Exit)


Well, I wonder what my consciousness is doing. It might be assumed that I know, but I don't really.

(Pause)

I don't know when it schedules other people to decide to leave the room, just as I don't know when it schedules me to take corrective action


(Pause. Re-enter)

You probably thought I was making an intellectial point, leaving when I did, but the fact of the matter is I had something to do


You didn't explain


No. I didn't


(Pause)

Are you lying?


No, I had to check something


What


Something


(Pause)
OK


It was a medical somethiong


OK


I'd like to keep it private

Somebody asked a question I couldn't answer


When


Please, open the same door


(Thinks)

You mean close it and then open it?


No. Keep it open


It's open


Now-- open it


(Pause, woman comes in opening)


W:

What's going on


Come in

(Pause)

Have a seat


(She does)

Nothing else is happening


This isn't a difference of opinion, this is-- what.


I don't know


I don't know


Then it is a difference of opinion after all

(Pause)

That's why we have nothing to say to each other


(3rd)

So be it

(Exit)


(She comes, sits, kisses)

That was a very powerful kiss

(She goes back)

Do we have a difference of opinion?


Don't ask-- and it won't happen


(Pause)

Is it ok if I shut the door?

(Done)


Did I answer?


No. I just took it upon myself

(She stands, he goes to kiss her)


--Not yet


When


(Pause)

Open the door.

(He does. She starts to exits, twirls embarassed)


This is hard to do


What


(Hangs in door, leans back into room)

This is one version

(Pops out of room)


Now-- I imagine it's up to me alone whether I open it or close it

(Closes, thinks. Opens)

Anybody there?

(Pause)

Well-- no answer, is not really an answer. Somebody could be there-- just not talking.

(Exit)

Are you one of those people who refuses to be at one with the world?


Is that an insult


You tell me


No. Not an insult, because the world isn't such that one should be at one with it


Ah. Is that an insult?


Are you the world?


I'm a little bit of it


Liar


Hum, that could be taken in two ways


At least two


Yes, but before 3-4-5 etc, two has to be dealt with

(Pause)

One has to proceed step by step


Oh no, I can jump right to seven hundred and sixty five


What made you jump to that number


I don't know


Here's a thought. You wanted to go backwards


I would say seven hundred and sixty five is a long leap forward. Except I see your point. 765 is 567 backwards


You must have had an unconscious motivation


To go backwards


Yes


(Pause)

I do have the feeling we're back where we started


Is that an insult


No


Should I be able to drag you forward into some desirable future


It could be undesirable


If it's the future, it's desirable


Even if one only wants to get there so one is able to go backwards?


Yes

This object you see, is revolving at the center of my particular universe.

I keep my back to it as much as possible. Is this fear? No. This is deep respect for reality







There is no atmosphere in space.

That is-- moods of light, cloud, mist-- different atmospheric conditions that create different ambiences. This does not exist in space into which man is now moving.


So: man arises perhaps, co-incidentially, with a certain kind of atriculation of light and water-- which are the building blocks of atmosphere. Also dust, I suppose, which is earth-- even fire, which creates smoke. The four classical elements. Man. But consciouss perhaps, is therefore a twin of atmosphereic. . .mood. Is this possible?






Is life supposed to keep me entertained?
(Pause)

Hello life? Do you have an obligation to entertain me?


Should I play the part of life?


That's the idea


OK. I don't think I have an obligation to be entertaining


Who exactly put me here-- shall we say-- in your particular catagory


What's my catagory


Everything living. That includes me


You're in my catagory


Yes


(Pause)

You don't find it entertaining


No


I appologize


At least I get an appology. But I don't get entertainment


Should I go


Would that heighten the entertainment quotient?


Probably not


Then why go


(Pause)

I better go

(Goes)


Now I'm alone. And in fact, it's more entertaining to be alone than to be frustrated. Thank you, life

(Pause)

Is it more entertaining to be alone than to be frustrated. Well, yes-- in that my mind feels freer. I don't feel constraints on my imagination.

I'm not in control


Is this a problem?


No

(Pause)

I was announcing an achievement


It's an internal contradiction


No. When I say I'm not in control, what I mean is something else has taken over. It's not that I myself have achieved not being in control-- it's that I welcome what something else has been able to do with this raw material. Me.


(Pause)

I too, wanted to be able to philosophize without letting thought have anything to do with it


Of course


I need to find a teacher


Why


I think the time is ripe


Oh please. Don't worry about it


Can you psyche out what I'm really talking about?


I don't know


That means no


No-- it just means my priorities are different


(Pause)

Life keeps changing direction on me


That's an internal contradiction


Well--- maybe


Change your priorities

(Pause. Other exit)

See?

I interpret that as a change in priorities. Also, I interpret that as me losing control, ergo--something external


(re-enter)

Don't mis-interpret my decision to go


I have no way of knowing


Well-- what I'm suggesting is-- feel just a little bit of the internal stasis I feel


OK

(other goes again)

No. I'll resist the temptation to say to myself-- now, where was I?


I can be amazed when I see the real world, circling around me

I can be amazed at so many things

But I choose one or two

I choose this table


I choose to be amazed at this table


It is amazing that this table exists

And it does


Look, how it's four legs fall from a certain height, to rest on the ground


I like this, I do like this


And the like is expressive-- it is intense enough to be called amazement

The world is going in one direction. I am going in another

I want to be what I am

I am not THIS

(pulls at flesh)

I have nothing to do with THIS

I am elsewhere-- something else

(Pause)

I want to be what I am


You sound very petulant


Do I?


Yes


Maybe I struck a deep responsive chord in somebody to whom I was speaking


That's very possible


(Pause)

Shall we permit ourselves to be in the library?


Oh, didn't I tell you? These books are no longer relevent


Ah, how delightful. Doesn't that make them even more appealing?


As relics?


No. As ways to defind our own idiosyncratic hunger


Ah, you return to bodily function after all. Remember when you said "I am not THIS" and plucked at your own flesh. Well, from whence arrises the possibility of hunger-- even if it is then-- spiritualized


You just gave me an idea


What


A new idea about hunger. As a catagory. Hunger is a ack. Is there anything that does not lack, since there is nothing that does not lack whatever is total, except the totality. So-- everything --lacks.


What does this table lack


Nothing


Then you're wrong


No. Hungry


I don't follow you


(Other)

He said he was hungry--

(Presents food)

Here.









This man who tries to be brief, but isn't brief enough. Me. Whenever I develope an idea, it changes. The impulse-- matures: which means everything else in the world, into which the impulse is planted by speech, corrupts it.

But this must happen.

This corruption.

The alternative is that nothing manifests; and to be here to discuss this obligation to manifest, and the purity of such self manifestation-- toward which we have an obligation thanks to an equally unavoidable rigor, to be lauched here in that very pure way that must necessarily fall corrupted by that very self same necessarily corrupted stuff --out of which the entire world is constituted.

(Pause)

Ah-ha. That means the task is, is it not, to realize oneself as the magnificent maneur producing mechanism one is. More and more-- which of course nourishes the production of even more and more-- pure impulse again and again which, through the rigor of this magnificent system, flowers so that transformation into maneur is once again, inevitable

(Pause)]

Ah, my poor children


I didn't know you had children


Everything that comes out--

(Taps head)

I think of that as my child


(Pause)

The world is beautiful, at times


If you're hungry for the world, the world is beautiful. If you're hungry for something else-- no.


I think I'm hungry for the world


Of course

(food brought)

Be my quest


Oh, I just ate a little while ago


Don't worry. A little time will pass-- you'll want more.


(Pause)

Maybe I'll just have a taste--


Wait a minute


What


Earn it


How


Entertain me. Just for a moment. Just a moment's worth of entertainment


I don't know how


OK>

That was it. That was entertaining. Now-- dig in if you like

(Other tastes, stops)

You don't like it


Somehow, you spoiled my appetite


Ah, that's no excuse-- remember hunger is something you should consider an OBLIGATION


Really?


Really. I mean, you have a choice-- perhaps you don't like this particular selection, so we'll see if we can come up with something different

(Food taken)


Please, don't make the effort on my behalf


You don't understand. I feel obligated. And when I feel obligated-- it's something I dare not evade. But in the meantime, we can get on with other things.


(Pause)

OK


OK?

Do you think it was unforseen-- this morsel of the future--


What morsel


This moment. This word in this moment


What word


(Pause)

Whatever comes next. Which isn't always a word, of course. Or, maybe it iws.


Time will tell.


The futiure will tell, yes.


No, maybe the past will tell.


Then the way you put it was right. Time will tell.

My hand seems to rise-- effortlessly. What I am lost inside of-- I do not know. Call it-- something extra. I am lost inside-- something extra


This is one of the hardest things to understand you have ever proposed


Yes. It keeps alluding me


If I raise my hand, is it effortless?

(Pause)

I can't really tell-- I did will it, but the moment of wiling it and the fact of it rising seem to have no connection


It's extra


(Pause)

Maybe that catagory should expand


Extra


Maybe everything could be in that catagory


Very well.

(Looks about)

Assume that wall--


Extra


Now-- are you just saying that? Or are you really trying to think that


I admit. It's effortless


So it's extra?


I can't answer


Ah, that IS extra. That not being able to answer-- don't be afraid. Just, feel it--


It's effortless


Not being able to answer


Effortless

Lifting the hand


Effortless


The wall


Effortless


Lost?


Yes


Extra?


Yes


Yes


(Laughs)

Yes.

I don't think my left hand is very efficient

(Pause)

Once I tried to write a letter with my left hand


Was it hard to read?


(Pause)

I never found out


You mean you never showed it to anybody else


Yes


What a shame

(pause)

Why don't you try writing something for me now


I don't know what to write


I suppose I could dictate something


Oh no, that wouldn't make any sense


Why not


It should be my own thoughts


I can see why


Can you?


You have something you want to express


Go on


Only your left hand can do that


Yes


Precisely because it's less efficient


I'm glad you remembered that word


No. I had to look it up


You mean inside


Yes


(Pause)

You had a memory of it


Yes


(Pause)

Now I'll try

(Writes with left hand. "You had a memory of it")


(Pause, looks)

It looks either illegible or greek


That's a very superficial response


Well, what you wrote is superficial


What did I write


"You had a memory of it". You just repeated your own words


Not on purpose

(Pause)

They were ringing in my head


An echo


Try it again


(Pause, writes "Tis is something but--")

This is strange. I was going to write "this is something more or less expected", but the laboriousness of the effort made it swerve into thinking that wasn't words, but I pulled back from that, so at a certain point I just wrote "But"-- followed by a dash, so the sentence reads "This is something but--".

(Pause, makes marks)

So. This is just-- marks

I didn't try to make any recognizable words. Is this the real me?


Oh yes. The real you can't be fathomed


(Pause)

That must be the awkwardness.


Yes.


Yes

ˆtrick myself into productivity. The flood gates open, just for a second


If it's just for a second are thry really open?


What comes out


You tell me-- what comes out


The moment is so brief I'm not allowed to occasion of recognition


You mean it's as if things didn't exist


What things


(Pause)

Well, your ideas, your dreams, your fantasies--


I don't think you have an accurate catagorization


What do I have


You tell me


N0-- you tell ME


You have everything wrong


How high;ly productive of me


In a was it's unavoidable


But invisible


Yes. Most things that are unavoidable are invisible


How convenient-- that's number one, and how-- well, I was about to say dishonest but that can't be number two


There's nothing dishonest about it


I'm not sure


You tell me


What


(Pause)

How do you get to be 'sure' about some things and not so sure about other things


I wait to see how it comes out


You wait for the flood gates toopen


Yes


Just for a second


Yes


Ah, it just happened


I missed it


That has to mean, it really happened


You tell me


No, you tell me


(Pause)

OK. It really happened

(Exit)

This ocean in which I am found-- does not mean I am under water

(Pause)

I'm under orders


That could be the same thing


(Pause, looks)

It's my special way of saying-- I don't see you


How selfish


Oh no, I do care, I just don't see you, and therefore I think about you all the time


(Pause)

I'm afraid I can't breathe under water


You don't have to


Right. I'll be dead soon enough, no matter what


Are you now?


No


See? I can't tell


Is that why you care so much?


Yes. Exactly


Prove it. Or at least-- demonstrate it


I'll do that at the next available opportuinity. I promise

(Exit)

(Notice how form "this jumping into, echo's page one)


This jumping into new ideas-- turns out to be predictable


What adventure superceeded it


Adventure?


(Pause)

Is this the very end of the adventurous epoch


We'll have to do some further exploration


I hope not


Ah-- there's you adventure


I hope not?


Yes


(Pause)

I hope


Yes


I wonder if another word could be provoked. A different word


Different than "yes"


Yes


I doubt it

If I were the right species, I could perhaps jump over myself


Ah-- you are in line for a promotion


Promotion? I don't think so


What's your line of work


Officially?


Yes


I don't want to share that with you


Why not


Fear it might interfere with self devolpment


This is especialy designed to provoke me


See? My species has been identified


Zebra


No


Hyena?


Not at all


Kangeroo


Just because a kangeroo leaps himself across the landscape-- don't think I'm capable of doing anything like that


Ah, but in your dreams?


In my dreams, I am all things to all people


Even me


Even you


Then I've lost the animal quize


Don't worry. There'll be others

Yes, there is a surprise lesson here.


Don't promise me a surprise because then I won't be able to recognize it


That's the surprise


(Pause)

Let me just close my eyes and imagine I'm crossing a green field. In the sunlight? No, it's overcast-- You see what's happening. I'm trying to surprise myself and I can't


That's why I want to try to help


You were trying to be on my side by turning against me


Right


That was supposed to surprise me


Now I admit that's possible.


(Pause)

What are the alternatives


Giving up, I suppose


Oh, this must be a retroactive decision


Yes. I gave up


I give up now


Surprise

(Pause)

It's the same thing


If it's the same thing, it isn't a surprise


Surprise


(Pause)

That makes it a surprise.

(Writes, stops)

Wise men have known all along, that all I had to do was keep the pen in motion over the paper


You mean-- they've known that all THEY had to do--


Who


(Pause)

Wise men


That's what I said


All right

(Pause)

And you keep the pen moving over the paper


I've stopped


Why


Not for the reason you think

(Pause)

In fact-- my wrist is giving me pain


Well, you tell me that, so now it IS the reason I think.


Right. But you can

't do anything more than IMAGINE the pain


Right


If you read what I wrote, would you be capable of imagining that also


Possibly. Unless what you wrote is really something that is really, deeply beyond me


I don't think I could pull that off


I don't either


Does anything hurt


Yes


What


My wrist


Really


See how I'm smiling? It's just an idea that came to me. My wrist doesn't really hurt


You respond to your environment


Yes I do


(Pause)

But you respond to your environment in a very particular way that might be yours alone


Well, my 'environment', seen as a totality, might be mine alone also


We don't share it?


Not a hundred percent


Of course not

(Pause)

That means I'm free to go

(Does)


(Pause)

Ah. Now we share it one hundred percent

I'm here-- which is what I think I just said, but are we talking about once upon a time?

(Pause)

What am I doing here and why do I have to project myself into this series of declarations of intentt-- is that what they are?

(Pause)

No. I better just . . .oscilate, where I am.


(Enter)

So you're here after all


What?


I've been asking everybody--


How would anybody else know


What


Didn't you say you were asking people--


That's no longer necessary


But it happened


I turn around and there you are


What


What


No-- you dopn't 'turn around". I mean-- if you turn around, then I vanish


(Done)

I don't think so


Well, if I didn't answer, you wouldn't know


(Turns and faces)

Let's face it-- there are other explinations



Step into my. . .

(Searches for the phrase)

--sphere of influence, for a moment


It can be half and half


(Pause, angry)

That's not good enough

(exit)



Jesus christ-- am I here alone now? Well I can hardly claim to have erased every mental residue, so when I'm talking to myself, it isn't really.

This-- universe of mine is still

(whirls)

relatively well populated

(whirls and falls)


(in)

Did you fall


Yes-- how the hell did you know that


Well, I heard a thud


(rising)

That's one explination


Do you have another?


Maybe we're well attuned


Of course we're well attuned


(Pause)

Well, then I don't need you here


Ok> I get it

(exit)


(Calls)

I'll need you here sometimes. Later. But not all the time

(Sits, picks up newspaper-- reads-- toss away)

This isn't what I wanted

(Presses temples: other looks in)

Go away.

(Goes. Calm now

(Covers hand with cloth)

Now my hand is well covered

(Pause)

Come in now

(Pause)

Well, if nobody is here to experience this with me, I will experience it myself


(Open)

What are you doing?


(Twist)

Can't you see?


(Enter)

I see that cloth covering your hand


I wonder what I'm trying to hide


You're speaking for me when you say that?


Ah, decisions, decisions


(Pause, other takes it off)

See? That was so easy


Do you like it better when it's covered?


It's different, that's all

(Pause)

Cover it


Is that a choice?


It's an option, so we might as well entertain every option we can imagine


Leaving it uncovered is another option


Yes, but somehow it's less-- option like.

(Covers it, other exits)

This is where I began. From now on I have to remember, whatever happens, to say to myself-- this is where I began

(Pause. Off--into drawer. Exit)


"This is where I began"

Tomorrow, more of this will happen


Yes, but I won't see it happening


You're not going anywhere special


I might take a trip


The adventure's over


Why


You missed it


(Pause)

That's why I might try again


If you try again it won't be an adventure


What


(Pause)

Remember I said something about tomorrow?


Yes, but I can't remember what you said


Ah, that's the adventure


Trying to remember?


No, that's not very adventurous


OK> I'll just wait and see what tomorrow brings


I knew you would


Do you know me better than myself


No, but I know you better than myself


Am I in a position to say the same thing


Not yet


Tomorrow?


Maybe. . .

Look at this


What is it


It's a cabinet I opened


Isn't the implication there's something inside the cabinet to look at


That's a very particular implication


Peculiar


Yes


What is this


I can't tell unless I look at it


Well,m look at it


I can't look at it


Why not


If I could tell you why not, I could look at it.


I bet you could remember what it looked like if I put it back in the cabinet

(Done)

OK


I can't remember


Ah, it must have had a powerful effect on you


Let's say-- semi powerful


OK. That's a reasonable compromise

(Shake)

I hope it is never necessary to use this library


Why?


Now-- suppose, just suppose, I picked one book off a shelf of this library and said, this book and this book only, tells the truth about things


I wouldn't believe you


Why


Now --suppose I set fire to this library and burned it to the ground. What would happen to the contents of the books. Would the contents of the books in the library be burned?


No. I have to assume there are other copies in other libraries of each of the books included


Yes, but would the contents of the books be burned also?


I can't answer


Why not


It would be an arbitrary choice, since I could defend either position


Suppose there was a race of people who punished anyone who read a book after he or she had reached the age of-- say-- 30. But up til then, reading books was encouraged. But the punishment for reading a book after the age of 30 was death. What do you imagine would be the results


Some people would read in secret, a few would be caught and punished, and most wouldn't read after 30


Yes, but what do you think would be the results.


(Pause)

It seems a very poetic concept. Because the mental reading tools-- there are internal mental reading tools, that would have to be applied elsewhere. Would they be applied elsewhere? Well-- maybe.

(red door. (Plain door)


It must capture your attention


Is what's more interesting what's on this side or on the other side


Maybe there's one way to find out


Always--


Sometimes, depending on how many doors


There's one that's obvious


(Pause)

By all means, let's follow up on the obvious


I'll try coming in from the otjher side

(Out)

It's locked.

(Return)

It was locked


Thank goodness


You mean thank goodness this one isn't

(Out, return)


You seem to be building up confidence


Not at all


Try it from this side


(Tries red door)

It's locked


Does it matter?


Not really


What's inside


I have total access


This is an example of over confidence


(Pause)

If I wasn't over confident, I wouldn't be confident.

Is it a face that is in or on the wall, or is it me-- doing my normal series of connections.


Suppse it was really in the wall


Do you mean-- would I fall down and worship it?


Yes


You mean, you would--


No, I mean your question was the one I wanted to be asked-- would YOU fall down and worship it


Ah no, your answer was yes--


To a different question


The minute you say yes, you take the position of one who worships things


what things


It's always the same thing


You?


Me? Why not??


Maybe it's ypu face in the wall, but then again, it's so elusive, it could be me


Yes! Are you worshiping me?


I don't know, but I'm certainly worshiping something

(Pause)

Whatever I'm worshiping turns into thereby, what I'm worshiping


A wall


Yes


Or at least, an image that seems to--


No. Just the wall


(Pause)

Even if it has no image


(Pause)

If I worship it-- it has an image-- erased or not erased


Let me help.

(Erases)

I probably had very little effect on your powers of imagination


Let me give you aa kiss


You mean-- sexual


(Pause)

No, I don't think I mean that


A kiss of peace


What's that


I think I heard about it


Yes


(Pause)

You mean, I'm being worshiped


Of course

(Kiss on cheek)


Am I destined to betray you


Tryt


I don't know how


Then something's lacking. Try


I will tryWhat will you do


(Pause)

I'll go

(Pause)

Then you will worship me with more resonance or less resonance

(Goes)

I've decided to be as creative as he universe


How can that be a decision


You mean, how can that be an act of will, since I don't have any


Yes


What you mean is-- yes


Yes, what I mean is "yes"


Ah. If I had the ability to perform an act of will, that act of will would be a no, because only a 'no' is an act of will


(Pause)

I'll have to think about that


You think that's serving the universes purposes?


Yes


Then it must be true, but personally, I don't think this 'thinking' business is producing very much in the way of the beautiful, so pardon me if I opt out


Is that a 'no'?


Yes


Ah, you fell down on the job


Of course, that's how I get material for my thinking mechanism


Whichyou'd rather not operate


Now you can see what fuels my anger


I knew you were angry


Yes, I can't even remember my beginnings. And I don't mean ultimate beginnings, I mean-- where did I just begin


Here we are


Yes. Here we are


Thatnk God for the universe


Even if I say 'no' to that-- yes.


Yes.

You find yourself saying things

(Pause)

This is amazing, I find myself saying things


There has to be an alternative


Are you talking to me?


To you and to myself


Who's talking


Both of us


This is amazing


What's amazing about something that seems to be so automatic


I didn't hear that


You only hear it when it comes out of your own mouth? Maybe


If I ever felt like interrupting you, I'd do it immediately


Later, I'd think about it


You'd realize you'd been interrupted

(Pause)


Why do I feel like my personal space hasn't been invaded, but rather I'm some kind of fucking explorer


That word seems out of context


Which


The second from the end


My counting's fucked up


I was wrong


What


It no longer seems inappropriate


I can't count on any consistency from you, can I


Let me get something


What


This

(Out camera)


Is that to take my picture


Yes-- but only when certain words are being uttered


Suppose I stop talking--


That I'll have a hard time taking a picture

(Snap)


You must have been paying attention to your own words instead of mine. No-- you already weren't paying attention to what you said


And you didn't stop talking like you promised


It wasn't a promise, it was a threat


Fuck off


Isn't that word out of context?


You don't seem to remember anything about context or you wouldn't have taken a picture


If this camera could wind back, I could correct that


Doesn't it wind back when you've finished the roll of film?


I haven't


Then you'll have to take a few more pictures-- whether or not I choose to say anything else


I suppose I will


Try it now


(Winds back)

It seems to have worked


I hope you're not operating under the misapprension that by winding back you somehow erased the pictire


I know a little more about the machanism of photography than that


Good


Not necessarily good. If I know less I might go ahead and shoot over the old picture, which might result in an interesting superimposition. But I'm a little too sophisticated to make that mistake


I'm afraid if you want to expose any more frames on that roll of film you'll have to reshoot the frame you wound back to


I'll hold my hand over the lens; that'll avoid a superimposition


(Pause)

I wonder how words could be subjected to the same technique


I consider that an insult


Why?

(Other puts camera back)

Why?

(Other exits)

How easily he extricates himself from a no exit situation

(Tries other door)

Just as I thought. Still locked

This was my first experience of some very bright light that didn't, in fact, help me to see better, but not because it was blinding me


What

(Spins)

Are you talking about something here and now or something in the distant past


(Pause)

I was following the course of a mental projectile


Of course I was


Tou were what


I too have had my moments of mental projectile


(Pause)

This isn't a shared moment


What you see-- I see


Guess what


I don't have to. My view of you and your experiences is secret-- locked up here

(Taps head)


If I make a powerful effort, I don't see you though I still see everything


It's me too


What


Include me in


I did


I thought you erased me


You gave me the idea. so it must have been you doing the erasing


Look at this picture of a flower

(Book opened, closed, put away: Pause)

Do you have to look at it again


No


I wonder if it's still there

(Out, looks, closes)

Yes. It was still there


Then put it away again


Decisions, decisions. OK I will

(Done. Pause)

Close your eyes

(Done)

Open them

(Done)

Is anything different?


No


This is a superficial perspective


There are two sides to every question and there are two sides to every perspective and I'm finding out they balance each other perfectly


You mean compleely


(Pause)

I'd like to get closer to you


--Back off


How


I'll demonstrate

(Goes)

Into what special loophole, do I project all my verbal energy


I can't pick up on it


Oh yes, you can change the subject


Does everything "click in'


If you change the subject, definately


(Pause)

That leaves a wide open field


Careful, I'm probably going to overpower you no matter what direction you head into


Maybe I can find a loophole


I'll be in and out ahead of you


After that it'll be my space


Breathe easy


I will


I mean now


Then shut up

(Pause)

Ah, nothing's moving


You need my imput


Your verbal pyrotechniques seem to be lighting up my personal horizon, damn it


Give thanks--


I do, but that doesn't eliminate mixed emotions


Ambivilances


Yes


Go ahraed. Hit me


(Pause)

I don't like following orders


His me.

(Pause. Exits)


Come back so I can hit you

(Pause)

Well. Thank god this hand didn't have to offend anybody

(Pause, looks, then covers mouth with hands. Other in)


What are you doing?

(Pause)

Hit me

(Pause)

Too bad. I see your hands are otherwise occupied.

(Other tries to exit, but no hands-- first helps)

I better help

(Opens , other exits)

That was a close call.

Outside the realm of belief, here I go, taking a step into the unknown-- I should say the unknowable, but it isn't. I know it. I am in it


What are you in


That


What


I don't know


You mean you know but you can't say


Thank you


(Pause)

What was the first thing you noticed when you came to this city


I noticed how it was familar but confusing


Thank you


Why


That confirms my own understanding


Confused?


Yes


Then you don't mean understanding


(Pause)

I mean what I can't put my finger on but my head keeps turning in that direction


Thank you


Please


This is amazing


What


We're not frightened


No, I'm not frightened


Even though we're confused


I like it


If I stepped out the front door at this moment, how would I know in which direction to circulate


It would depend on your inner proclivities


I'd like to find a nice resturant


Hungry?


No, I'm talking about the ambience


Ah, what kind of people do you want to be surrounded by--


No-- I only want the resturant to have one or two other customers. You see I don't want to be alone, but I don't want OUTSIDE brain activity to be oppressing my own brain activity


(Pause)

You just described an unresolveable paradox


What


You can't think unless somebody else helps


I didn't say I wanted to do any THINKING


Oh? Try putting a stop to it


Yes


You can do that?


Maybe


I don't think you can do that


(Pause)

If I could find such a resturant, I could find out


What would you order


I said I wasn't hungry


I think they'd throw you out if you didn't order something


Physically-- throw me out?


Yes


I'll order coffee


More


I'll order hors d'oeuvres


Like?


Like cheeze


That sounds like after dinner, rather than hors d'oeuvers


Then I won't


Why


Because I won't be having dinner--


Where do those ideas come from?


(Pause)

You're right. I could develope my ideas this way, all by myself


You see?


Go away--


Aren't we going out


Go away


To a resturant?


No


Why


(Pause)

I don't know my way around this city. I'd get lost


Where are you now


Here


Where


In this room


Where is that. I mean in relation to the plan of this city as a totality


I don't know


Then you're lost right now


In a sense

(Other gestures "See?")

But I'm getting my bearings from the objects around me


That's always possible, inside or outside


There's a difference


What


Outside in the streets-- well, it's impossible to stay in one place for a long time, so it's harder to get your bearings, which takes a period of acclimatization.

(Pause)

In the street, there is always a tendency, internal and external both, to move on. Here in this room, I can just stay here. Until it gets familiar to me. My points of reference get to be familiar.


Then you don't need me


Fore some things I need you. For other things I don't


What do you need me for


I don't need you for getting acclimated


(Pause)

I'll go


Do you expect me to say "No, don't go?"


Sort of


(Pause)

I won't hit those numbers


I'll still go

(Pause. Goes)


Ah, thank God I have my memories

(Pause)

So what if they keep drifting like smoke

I am searching for the person who can help me


Please help


Did I hear myself echoed


It must have been the hearing mechanism or the seeing mechanism, or the thinking and imagination mechanism


(Pause)

This room-- cleansed, could pour forth innumerable treasures, and I would like that


Suppose--


What


Just suppose-- the cleansing was not necessary. Would the treasures still be acceptable


(Pause)

I never said, whatever the terms, they were necessarily acceptabl,e


What I deny you is my mental agility


Didn’t I possess it already?


Approach the table


The what


Approach the table and lay your hands on the surface of the table, palm down.

(Pause)

Now, lift them and examine the palms. Are they clean


They appear clean


Is the table top soiled


It appears clean


Which of those two surfaces is more likely to be unclean, even if appareances to the human eye are not to be 100% depended upon

(Blindfolded)


The human eye is alwaysto be depended upon as an erasable something that leaves a potential hole in things


You mean if they’re closed


What


Close your eyes


No


You mean you can still see


In a sense


What sense


I don’t need help any more


Why not


(Pause)

It seems that in the natural course of things--


Yes. By definition, the course of things is natural


(Pause)

In the natural course of things, I find myself led, unaturatually, out of every dilema


(Pause)

I’d say-- you’ve stumbled upon a treasure


I can’t see it


Then I’m wrong


No, no, no-- I’m not saying that-- because I can’t see it, it doesn’t exist. Quite ther opposite


(Pause)

Is this where a story begins or ends


No, no, no-- this is always being in the middle of a story at the point where it takes multiple directions and is therefore unchartable-- but by no means, therefore, less than a story.


Tell it


I can only tell it if I have multiple voices


How many do you have


one


Then you can’t tell it


Right


Then there’s no story


Wrong. Because I can’t tell it doesn’t mean there’s no story

(Blindfold off, behind which his eyes are closed)


Ah, you had you eyes closed after all

(other covers, releases hands-- they’re open)


Does this mean I’m back to reality


You tell me


No


I could take that two ways


At least two


Sounds like a story


It is


Tell me


No.

(Pause)

That’s another story

I better protect myself, because the light, when teribly intense, hurts


It didn’t hurt


You?


Anybody


When


It got as bright as possible


I didn’t see that


You were looking at it


What


See?

When you were looking straight at that tremendous intensity, you-- in comparison, were so infinitesimaly tiny-- that’s what saved you


You mean it saved my eyes


Yes


Is that the tiniest part of my body--


There is a point, in the center of your eye, or should I say, in the center of your eyesight, which is the tinest part of your body


Then what I see and what I don’t see get similar


Yes-- how did you figure that out


What did I figure out?

(Pause)

Well, whatever it was it just welled forth

(Pause)

Can that be called figuring it out?

(Other exits)

Come back

(Pause)

I have no trouble in here with my vision. Except-- maybe there’s more here than meets the eye.