UP IN RAIN - Dan Raphael

an electronic chapbook

          UP IN RAIN

the tree goes up in rain    throwing out indecipherables
             roll like punches on a piano roll
         too smoke to tell,  to test for constant allergies
     then engines of dust        run red         turn over
           cast iron homonyms we cool unduly
                      hold an environment on wooden legs
          turns like a drill no lead to hurl
       so many lifters     
   scarves couldnt be alive
          outside the building goes
         garbage in the snow       bib like africa

           we'd get burned if the sun comes back
   holding 7 pianos in mouth or hand
                holding channels change
     trim or ornate
       fall as beans rise in elevator trees
    make my hair so
     coming down hemp free
    whose jaw
        more porous than my teeth
      the trees couldnt fast enough
 with no knees      
   who could cover.
       we fall like clipboards
    denser than cats nails couldnt attach to 
           doughnut bars giving into scales 
                want to put my hands on
     if i had invented their stairway

   the sea
      through me
        a white flame nerve pain
                  like a slug made of melted bleach bottles
      i'm so white without rhythm
       when my hand could comprehend
         to slap or during
    living under water in this city neighbors dont look at

      want to stiffen these hand dogs
   call in thick sentence hangs over 
     the moment lips open as a maggot pool;
         would flow chunky partial smell-- the halted process
  back ups in a new language:
      i couldnt go there--   this body wont translate
         science i dont know
                    if i'll work
            without a pump & no dilemmas

    need a machine for me
         whose name is alabaster
             smack through the table
        not fluid enough a signature for the legs to get there     
          since the gone mouth could be zygote or rhythm 
                         force my hand

i'm cold as a dog trying to go straight, to get moonmilk cabanas or coffins
straight up,
   a bottle big enough to drive      split lips       sutured underpants
    take over my knee
                       50 years of erosion exacerbated by emery fish
             keep stirring        keep taking away
    the shores been straightened with fences;
       the ocean.             a mountain where my ventricle was
         when i fall my face onto
          masks      mists     trees with too many sides
        to argue my way with flying exit signs
    hold my hand in liquid fire
        a tree      a rock
    how much these ribs take to crush the life out of
                       poisoning inner seas
      could barely comprehend
         to alter the clock
      hammer     fan       pontoon

        knees dont know
 heaven between her legs
          return like a mall
      spider of hands      frog brain casserole
            guess our way along the edge
              senses surrender like tranquilized dogs the mattress cant stop
  or floods like vision i want time to tour.
      the weather so round
          you dont know you've been cut til blossoms bruise 
        the blood wouldnt listen, took my keys & siphoned
    all my nature left behind
         more salt & oil,  changed solvents couldnt run
        without color or a way to not trap/replace
                 a key inside a pancreas       a duodenal itinerary

                    down like feather in a cryogenic doorway
     we could hop, hope    adding as we twist
         from coat hanger to bicycles
           from orrery to soap opera
    i want the sudden curves to rip me out of here
          my brain to trees
          the weather
          falls colder a face
        as if to warm
               i curl like lava
        blistering in the snow
                 scalp confers
                         bitter brass hustle

          the center of the earth is blood;
        the center wants to flood our mouths
    bringing AIDS to the trees
     bitching about habitual

   we've barely scratched the surface canyons tempt us with
     sudden cacophony of a million weather forecasts trilling across an
agitated surface
            anarchic matter
           time on a table
          toe so fresh
       scattering through the light 
                         til held dense seconds 
  through the hands
    face like rock in the pond of
        well-spread throughout so much of
    frozen    shipped    til its peak of fresh
      when no potential said
    to stripe the colorless resin we sprout or fester, 

  as sleek as intellect could make it
                        molecule crying for completion at molecular level
  we hear sound leave the theater burning in our eye tunnels
      reflect what couldn't cross or afford
    a transition warned by structure to breach a seam in world
   what needle leaking through the paper wasp nest
       didn't read before opening
       my hand lid popped
                 my vacuum seal reason
          family sew
        to frozen spin the spine wont comprehend
   the mother of fiber optics one picture would overload--
                 breakdown isn't being
    home for the holidays
           a cold and dark crevasse
     we useta drive through
       noticing no digging
           larva we can't penetrate or slow
             the earth's bones
                    so much so specialized--
               a billion mites are a single function
         the ocean so many intertwined indistinct shapes

    as if only this
            could me
          in time
         a light so many others land
         forgot to wick
    while plastic future bone
        (honk if you got 'em)
   knobby as an earthworm sturgeon
                   neither too big or too small to let live
      cubed in the snow at our feet or why wont it melt
       like tibetan tobacco--    get high enough     never change color
   like wine on the sheets woven from impossible grasses

   whatever we can't see through
   like everything gone from the tree but frozen water,  hibernating
      trying to hang on to a window no one has breathed on, ever
         or putting my hand through the moon--the sky's been gone so long,
the buildings so steep
        only an airplane like a thread takes away what isn't advertised
                      yet still might survive if we can't name them
                                  as if a radio could receive and not

        the force of that accumulation
  threading soil like millions of fishing lines without bait or hooks,
       heat-seeking maybe, able to smell gravity not inside the unular spine

         going further than the sign into unlettered opaque air,
               a passenger train without windows, another field through them
            attempting to fly in wedding clothes
       a skin tight bottom, flowing geometric top
  straight lines      like coat hangers       spring from my buttocks
           as if vandals would notice
      to smoke dissonance
   in a chillum made hand       the heel so cold
         we want rain & fire together
     some place not mud      some flesh not fungal

        a continuum flickering tween memory and imagination
         requires forgetting, not shutting out
               a box makes a bridge;    streets bring cars
 not this body of mass transit
           shutting down for the winter
         wet with heat     clear from smoking
               what ashes add to bread
         baking in the trees roots
             redefine space humming water into metal,
      sugars plunge like needles into spatial veins
           turn chance into organic life
        we can burn if we dont know
      weather points the way spherically
    zigging isobars      celebratory exchange of highs & lows,  
          wet & thirsty
        hungry for the excess
    flowing through streets     unable to warn the neighbors

    the tree goes up in rain 
           so the city doesnt land here
        shimmering like an impotent hologram
               catches the light and feeds it well

to smoke dissonance; to fall over the trees whose elevators evaporate before the top floor's assembled, taking two of every angle with enough amps pumped between-- theres safety in ozone, oxygen tranquilized by fusion cons the lungs to thicken official exchange rates where back alley traders without receipts or security balance the best deals with percentage robbed or doped, smoked into new math on a 12 day bus ride from vladivostock i consider poland the west coast; i've severed all connections with european history in this future where amerika and all things amerikan are taboo, infectious, so many still go there to die of consumption, trading messages for brand names trace a rootstock never mine or family needing books to live in; substituting data for water we cannot catabolize the need to spawn in open prairies only dead cars can see humming like a rusted mountain-- snaptop ziplock paper or plastic block the clock linger ray or does the soporific tape allow held in gel floor pins me down, ceiling taunts like the past, or someone else's success famous tree dipped in freon; famous engines clasp our ears held to the light drilling our attention held down by 12 yards of concrete would my ribs subdivide in glassine envelopes a baked apple a recumbent spleen laced into vinyl that's learned to simulate breathing like pontillistic acupuncture accumulates a new body held 3 arms length these structures of attention needing fuel to point toward oily water interpenetrating the mud my foot mistranslates keep needle past on post left of the box that heavy yet suspended magnetism is faith so soft and sweet from hand to mouth mouth to junction like bees constantly having sex being sex fuse sperm to egg robbing their total feed into the queen singularity what white bursts of spread or divide to grow like a river or like a tree to be like mountain soup the rain makes into bowls the fire ejaculates out of so much friction-- we want to go different ways through each other not without each other-- either someone goes under, everything crumbles, or the sum of our dilemmas explodes II) flux breaks a street more than stones could dangle from in a loose pouch hard into the field in an infinite loop til the money runs like last eon's madras we pitch our shirts like untoned tents the colder it gets the less we wear darker chemistry wetting our tantras we ride nebulous houses the land wont cube-- dots to dashes dashes where flesh was immune to clock speed i stipulate complexion the years stir coffee on thin paper flames wear them to bed around a four lane through my hair cop a buzz cut bees growing neath my scalp i need a well day a hold it to my face through night's elastic storms sink more into the earth keeps rising coz the valves broke from scratching so constantly my calves split like cedar pastry pecked apart by crow gulls merged to rule from treetop to basement, sewer pipes crooning my name a new pancreas 40 pounds i'll never miss urge submerged as distant a day this speed limit wind moist as august work outs stacking weightless bodies writhe as if routed-- friction calls the tune remember sloughed skin cells yodel who left them-- a business card you swallow a flashlight becomes a castle cars spray soft bullets like eczema on primered flesh, flat as melting cheese sink a fork in tuning done falls from the bone an eroded beach we useta sleep under in a world with half as many people and 10 times the trees III full moon of was once clinging parhelion biscuits supped in growth spurts parse the lineage cross parsecs of star sleep we walk until directions point the sun red once a month, then earth cramps walking across our backs wear sturgeon hats to shield the cookstoves transit the himalyas on a kite string dog tooth clouds checkerboard fennel rub til the sun peels thick as garlic sludge whipped into ice cream melting therapy on my shaved head-- ephemeral phrenology my head's trying to tell me i'm in trouble no flames that deep cook to cross the killing river i dont notice what borders of teeth eat from me not believing that i bleed or a body of more than thought keeps walking without cities or rain no night to feed me, no way to tame the terrain jittery as a stomach lining that cant remember if its on a fast or half an hour late for dinner IV) i tuck myself in a still place raspy as a mummified dog's tongue up to be gone when the clock says 'wattsa matta?' i try to reach what was my face, half a hat exhausting flavors tattoos between the shingles of my mouth-- when we surrender our roofs to moss, the wood of our houses can sprout, carpets become gardens , linoleum surrenders to its inner sun, a much adulterated earth juice, as nails remember their mountains and windows recall their sand
Is this Shirt or Skin? (11/28/96) these many lights across cold wet asphalt, grass barely breathing like my feet thousands of feet stepping on houses turn them into coffins into packing crates cars pressed into cubes with families inside them; a loaded jumbo jet encased in the electrons of whose memory the earth is a bead in the abacus on a wire we cannot measure how crows decide who flies above the food to warn the rest the empty crow feathered hive mind a crow is a capsule a bee at the north pole flaps his wings once a year til the ice caps melt in a tall glass tipped from a table on a balcony it falls for days until i'm born in a wooden crate painted like a car. my mother bleeds like a tulip bursting with hunger before color is invented in the mind of dogs a city of structural aroma values persistence over math-- to pee is to talk to shit is to fly We're darker than i can remember dead skin cells like rain & too many streetlights house lights security cameras dancing like bats screech me paralyzed: i have to name the tune to get legs to run with my mother swallows another car. my dead father is lost in the engine without flavor the light of his blue eyes, eyes full of positive data, so many yeses flat as the canyon of midnight we could drown in rain attacking like choppers pulsing like the earth thru the spines in our heels a bridge cable made of muscles wound so tightly around each other ozone stenches the air; our eyes red with oxygen and pain trying to jump start our lungs with kite string on a ruptured battery Night decapitates the sirens trying to add color to teach us the first vowels to hang a scream around pitched without arms or any idea where home is so many muscular men with weapons; so many screaming citizens distracted by hands on their thighs children suddenly vanished, bees popping from our scalps. 3 inch tvs fall around me like bats whose wings evaporated in the threat of dawn giving birth to the work day: the rain is too rich to eat each drop a face of splattered dna melting in the grip of engines demanding a place to go, magnetic acceleration needs me to open the door, pay the toll ringing like baskets thrown over the heads 100 yards across the street with few fences i can trust behind drooling quadruped muscles vortex sinkholes barking to define to pass the time Somewhere it's raining; somewhere a domesticated bird is killing the baby in a worm-kernel each drop the meal too dark flavor taking my tongue to first grade on another planet we emit speech through choruses of pores; we compose fugues to deconstruct foodstocks i keep throwing meat in the air-- a hook up somewhere secreted industrial how big a space ship could land in the empty school yard each grass blade someone who once across or with eyes foot thru the floorboard getting far enough from the floodplain each night suddenly re-invents a slippery concoction white as the moon beyond the rain clouds seal the horizon to encourage mold, fungi trying to redirect us beyond oxygen beyond composition to the root mind the symbiote translator deep enough for the planet's mutterings where earth worms are rain believing so deeply in gravity they're pulled through stone & liquid fire to sizzle in the names of all possible life forms, bursting multi-barbed windmeat thickening the rain into obsidian chickenfat making everything that moves seem edible processed ticking