when agitation and
remorse are present
in us who is aware?
agitation and remorse
present us to ourselves but only
sometimes sentient. when they are
absent in what fields do they
hide Monsanto green?
when agitation and remorse
begin to arise are you
wearing the right
armor? in Ayodhya: Brindavan:
does it rain redress
explain Bombay?
or soldier flare fulfill
the Vedas and Pokrahn
will they pay you
in coin or in salve?
the sign dissolves the
camera solves resisting
bodies India day parade.
when already arisen
agitation and remorse
are abandoned the country
slips into the disputed river.
saffron clash supplied
defiance depends on women
lining up for water.
clamor: breathe: it's august
nineteen ninety eight the desert
holds. suffer in
what attribute
whose skin?
worship did not
divide us but now
the lord and headlines tell us
so. becomes a fact,
accomplished.
fold over fold over
already abandoned
agitation and remorse. who is aware.
torn cloth of subsistence, a flag, agitation.
mercy. will not arise,
the future. already,
remorse. already
abandoned.
Accourding to Kirsten Thorpe:
Date: Sun, 14 Feb 1999 22:55:02 -0500 (EST)
From: thorpe@sas.upenn.edu (Kirsten L Thorpe)
this is really good. and it feels almost silly of me, but sincere, what
is this about?
i really think it would be great to meet live. when is a good time for
everyone? week, weekend, morning, evening?
k.
Accourding to Mike Magee:
Date: Mon, 15 Feb 1999 10:10:07 -0500
From: mmagee@dept.english.upenn.edu (Michael Magee)
Mytili, this is just a brilliant poem - moving, in all the best senses of
that word. The measure is so precise! - the way you get the effect of
phrases and sentences clipped short. Which I think is achieved because
the poem is built by *sentences* as much as on te poetic line: the
periods resist the sort of Whitmanian flow in which, especially at this
late date, the only options of tone seem to be elegy or celebration.
Whereas the line you've settled on (all puns intended) is much more
"agitated" than that. (What's great is that the senetences are long
enough (most between 12 & 20 syllables) that one starts to hear something
like Whitman just before being interrupted) l also can't help but hear the
echo of Yeats (that rather vexed nationalist) from "The Dialogue of Self
and Soul": "When such as I cast out remorse / So great a sweetness flows
into the breast / We must laugh and we must sing, / We are blest by
everything, / Everything we look upon is blest."
But whereas Yeats ends on this note of transcendence, your poem can't stop
revisiting "remorse" - and the difference is striking on the level of both
form and content. One thought I did have about that ending - or a
question maybe - is, what difference would it make if that final word,
"abandoned," were changed to "abandon"? What I like about "abandon" is it
can be both noun and verb, and it can mean things as diverse as "to
discard" and "freedom." So, I thought maybe it would be nice to have
those possibilities operating at the end, particularly given the
complexities of the subject. In any event though, great stuff.
-m.
Accourding to Kirsten Thorpe:
Date: Mon, 15 Feb 1999 10:55:59 -0500 (EST)
From: thorpe@sas.upenn.edu (Kirsten L Thorpe)
Michael Magee wrote:
>
> One thought I did have about that ending - or a
> question maybe - is, what difference would it make if that final word,
> "abandoned," were changed to "abandon"? What I like about "abandon" is
it
> can be both noun and verb, and it can mean things as diverse as "to
> discard" and "freedom." So, I thought maybe it would be nice to have
> those possibilities operating at the end, particularly given the
> complexities of the subject. In any event though, great stuff. -m.
>
this is an interesting idea, but i think that maybe the syntax is too
influential to make it happen the way you're suggesting, mike.
"the future. already,
remorse. already
abandoned."
if you were to say "abandon" it would be noun parallelled with noun
following from "remorse", and instead of being as flexible as you
suggest, i think it might lean too much towards that carefree connotation
that doesn't seem like what the poem wants to say. i think "abandon"
suggests is double meaning enough still couched in its word plus suffix
"abandoned". after all it's still there.
kirsten
Accourding to Shawn Walker:
Date: Mon, 15 Feb 1999 15:23:17 -0500
From: swalker@dept.english.upenn.edu (Shawn Walker)
Mytili, this is beautiful. You have such a style, one which is
meditative, but not so "easy" as to lull. A real focused concentration.
I'm continually jolted by the repetitions of those two words, and inspired
by the ambition of your initial question, which directs the rest of the
poem. The questioning is, I think, exactly the right tone to take with
this. (Here I thought I'd point out some phrases such as "in coin or
salve" which stand out to me as particularly powerful, but there are so
many...)
Thanks for sharing. What a delight that my mailbox is full of poems! I
think this is the first poem of yours I've read. Do you have any
published anywhere that I can look up? Or can you (and everyone!) post
more? Also, do you mind if I share this poem with other people who aren't
on this list, or is it still "in the works" or private to you?
Shawn
Accourding to Mytili Jagannathan:
Date: Tue, 16 Feb 1999 18:51:30 -0500
From: mytilij@dept.english.upenn.edu (Mytili Jagannathan)
Thanks so much Mike, Kirsten and Shawn for your comments on "nationalism
redactor." Mike, your comments reminded me of what a perceptive reader
(and hearer) you are; it's great to be able to see something you've
written through someone else's eyes. For example, it would never have
occurred to me to actually *count* the syllables in my sentences, although
I know that I was listening for rhythm and measure as I was composing. At
the most I probably decide that a phrase/line/sentence needs more or
fewer syllables, but your putting the numbers down is fascinating and
concretizes my own "hearing process."
Your suggestion about the final word (abandoned/abandon) was quite
interesting. I liked the idea, but when I tried it, I ended up agreeing
with Kirsten that the "noun" form of "abandon" would dominate, and I think
I prefer "abandoned" because it suggests abandonment of remorse as well as
the "future."
Kirsten, you asked earlier what the poem is about. Its take-off point was
the nuclear tests conducted by both India and Pakistan last year, as well
as a series of violent events orchestrated by right-wing Hindu forces in
India. In 1992, these forces manufactured "agitation" over competing
claims for a religious site in Ayodhya in northern India. Some Hindus
claimed the site as the birthplace of Lord Rama, but a mosque--the Babri
Masjid--had existed at the site as well. The "religious nationalists"
(who wanted to claim "India for the Hindus") called for a rally at the
site, and the crowd ended up destroying the mosque on Dec.
6. In the wake of this event riots broke out between Hindu and
Muslim communities across the country; Bombay was one of the cities where
the violence was the worst.
Brindavan is considered the birthplace of another god, Krishna; I'm not
referencing a political event here, but rather the way that places are
understood or imagined through the stories (ancient and contemporary) we
tell about them.
Pokrahn was the desert site of the Indian nuclear tests. In the weeks
Pokrahn was the desert site of the Indian nuclear tests. In the weeks
following the tests, some politican or government official was quoted as
saying the Vedas have been fulfilled. These ancient religious scriptures
included elaborate descriptions of "celestial weapons" that could travel
vast distances and destroy cities.
"India day parade" refers to the commemorations of India's independence
that occur in some cities in the U.S. In New York, South Asian feminist
and queer groups have been barred from participating in the parade, and
have mounted regular protests.
I hope that context is helpful. It worries me a little that so many
references in the poem may be unrecognizable outside particular
communities, but I didn't feel I wanted to narrativize in the poem itself.
Shawn, thanks for your words as well. I don't mind if you share this poem
with particular individuals, but please don't post it to another
listserve. (I've had some unpleasant email encounters...)
More conversation later!
Mytili