........remembering my first visit to Larry's house, a five hour
wonderful one-on-one visit, discussing everything, reading many
things, and having dinner (his entourage of roommates so quiet
as to be invisible) -- I was immediately struck by the sight of
the front room with many windows, walls bulging from the gaggle of
boxes containing writings and I soon learned that Larry would know,
in all the stacks, where to find one small poem. "There, underneath,
see the
grey book, it's underneath the blue book..no, no....there!" We later
read
together from rumpled pages of William Carlos Williams, favorite lines.
Larry's books, like the Velvet Rabbit, were worn down until all the
beauty
is gone, ready for the rag bag, but a discerning eye saw only the holiness
of
serving well!
Larry was open to life's experiences, with a "why not" directness. He
took
in with careful attention everything he could get his hands on, and
his ears
into - the words AND the music, with interest, sometimes with awe -
art
and life as one, as connected, no demarcation points. Life, to be born
and die
in short time, but why not put that aside and absorb everything whether
there is any reason to or not. Larry did. Life's constant feeding left
little, if
any time, for "show" or pretense, and that kind of purity can allow
the luxury
of "awe" (or listening) without the clutter of those things anointed
by "the
others"," those things which "others" segregate, name, declare OKAY.
What
was important was important. On Larry's terms. His own fame never
tampered with his ingenuous quality.
Ways Larry experienced the world included looking out the window,
discussing literature, reading, watching movies and listening to the
radio.
RADIO! KALW! A favorite station, kind of quirky and full of esoteric
information, so unpretentious that much like Larry's interview with
Jack
Foley, KPFA, it was as if they didn't need a radio, the voices just
came into
the room on their own.
Perhaps on rare occasions, depending on whether your in 1940 or 1996,
there may have been times (hard to imagine Larry ever being ignored!)
when Larry among strangers became an "object" - the wheel chair in
the
room. I'm sure, in such event, Larry would have used the time well,
used his
'moment of invisibility' to listen, eavesdrop even! You see more, you
hear
more. And, if you are a writer, you TELL! And if you are Larry you
don't just
tell in writing! Larry had MUCH to say, his mind racing constantly.
As an
audience himself (participator, sometimes speaking up and joining in!)
to
other artists, I can say what a delightful listener he is, but that
is not to say
that he was not foremost, a great talker!!!!!!
More personally: Knowing, in 1986, I was new to the poetry world after
some years in music, and knowing full well I wasn't a fan of the language
poets, Larry couldn't wait to ask me the first time a Language poet
spoke in
Jack Foley's Series (Cafe Milano) Larry called loudly and clearly,
across the
room, "JESSE, HOW DID YOU LIKE THE LANGUAGE POET?" (he
grinned!), knowing all the while, it would not be my favorite cup of
tea!
And another example of his wry wit. I was complaining about having
too much stuff (after 30 years!!! boxes and boxes of writings, music
manuscripts) --- he said, smiling "They won't put you in jail for it,
will they,
Jesse?" It kept me sane.
Larry's physical surrounding were many times small, virtually housebound
during some periods, looking out the window as he tells us, but he
made it
so the world was wherever HE was, and the thing to do then is, zero
in on
the essence, as in his poetry.
In his direct way, Larry said, "I went to the library," and then very
pleased
and seemingly surprised: "they had my books on the shelf!" Coming perhaps
from his putting possessions (even his own books) in perspective. He
was
free of attachment to "things" - oh, he cared about his poems and loved
books
to pieces (literally), his and every book he could get his hands on,
but wisely,
Larry was always "somewhere else" and not tied to possensions. - If
he loved
a poet, he wanted his friends to know the work, would loan out his
favorites,
including Hart Crane and William Carlos Williams. "Here, take
this home
with you, Jesse." Within the pages, a letter from Allen Ginsberg, no
reflection that he was careless of his friend and associate of many
years, but
that Larry was somewhere else, living in the moment.
Larry was intently curious about many things, perhaps everything. He
would not be bored! He said to Jack Foley on KPFA, "because I am
interested in everything, I can't be bored." Special. Yes. Special
on many
levels a few might overlook. More real, more direct and more pure than
most (reflected in his writings).....some nuances however direct, in
the very
directness, are not easily caught, light as butterflies, with subtle
colors; a
few may while seeing the same purity, directness and truth in his poetry,
miss the genius of his modesty (it didn't have to be identified, people
felt
good to be around him, many friends) perhaps they did sense he was
comfortably in tune, in and out of the beat, his person, his soul,
unafraid and
uncluttered. If you were there, in his inclusive world, a magic world
of
words, where Larry, mercurial as a Gemini, although Leo, is 'someplace
else'
when unimportant trappings of life come plodding in, you may feel the
same
freedom.
LETTER TO LARRY EIGNER written the night after 5-hour one-on-one
visit with Larry at his giant house on McGee Street, June 12, 1990.
not on the long
walk
sun
slowing
steps
Toward
McGee,
he said
and Old Grove
or on the otherhand,
Roosevelt
where am I?
more particular
where is Larry?
in depth
where is the phone?
the house with the ramp
much more!
a lazy old fashioned?
Should
have known
Larry's house McGee. Oh.
History: two women
two kitchens
side by side were the women?
old Sea Captain
one wife
one miss tress
old history
"Hi, Lar!" Rick rescues me
to coolness familiar
not just me?
poems
books
papers living
in living room
why not?
"Where is radio schedule? he asked, first!
Peering,
Larry wheels in
among familiar
gaggle of boxes
and swarms of stacks bibliographed
in
living every minute like Joel (mine!)
having
the name the same middle
and brain same
(memories,
as inquisitive
as exploring reminders.......
"That book! time now!
not in one second now!
grey
underneath
(doesn't Jesse understand?
page 6 ? Wiliams?
(pages run into
and other pages run into)
life is said accordingly
poets Larry various
all in juxtaposed
words that's everything?
about death? life is
(who, when, what,
where we die')
"so what if mankind dies"
READ! (quick)
me? You?
both
PUNCTUATION
I READ YOU READ NOT THAT DIFFERENT
as Ginsberg and Eigner,
You(Eigner?)
fall down end of line
not he, why not?
What did you do this morning?
astonishing question
un ex pec ted
totally
surprise!
I had a morning this morning
uh, wolves
uh, coyotes
uh radio,
what station?
(KALW) strange
uh, little animals
and big grin: FOXES! same morning same radio sound
listening to
foxes live life going backward
(like particle on time waves ride the future)
Got to get that book!
Reminded
one thousand
and one or two
similar
similarly overflowing
pounds
(do you like Ezra Pound, not all his ideas, some poems)
of paper much (in my case)
useless, wheat
and chaff
and no more time
So I said,
(to Larry?) what do you think
if I throw (burn, destroy, dislodge, shed, lighten, relief)
Jonestown (is
not my son
is a story
rehearsed visioned on particles
floating backward in time before 1978)
I grinned why not?
throw away
unique (no one but me
with a red-headed son your
middle name (Joel) JOEL! (punctuate
even more
saved
every story
all papers
People's Temple Newspaper
and Black Panthers
before it was news
(LA TIMES said the story
that will not die) why? why not? throw away?
NOT THE LETTERS! (Larry was shocked)
from Temple members?
Joel?
(on pretty note paper
after they died
the letters
were still
on pretty note paper
talking about
perfect life
paradise
and bread from Cassava
they didn't have to
order cyanide
from America
Amerindians
for centuries
ritually
tediously
squeeze from Cassava
("we
make many things,
bake
cassava." on the pretty note paper.)
the deadly cyanide, small animals
eat the waste and die.
(forgot to tell Larry about Cassava!)
or give the papers magazines death tape
record album (few exist?) some writer
may still think there is something to say
about Jonestown
I don't need to write about it after all
It's a start for one
books and papers and Larry
go together why separate?
(in his house)
for another (me)
clutter
I'll start
my exit
from Jonestown first (don't need
ink words tattooed
all
over
brain
soul heart
mind?
(I guess it's because we talked about everything)
"You'll come and stay for supper?" (the phone invitation)
And off the phone, to Rick:
"I have everything and nothing
to say to Jesse!"
(Is that a compliment or what, Rick said.)
"She doesn't eat crab!" Finicky (Mama said) Oh well
Some kind of Mexican delicious corn?
(unusual) cuisine a la Albert photos by Rick
and French John ("I don't care if you call me John
doesn't matter I'm French)
and knew more
about MY hometown (Coos Bay
and Bunker Hill?
forgotten (by me) John, six months in Coos Bay
(me on a train leaving
fast getaway the day after
high school
graduation American U., Wash. D.C.
John and Albert
more about Coos Bay
than I ever knew.
Charleston isn't the same
even a submarine base
algae
(homesteaders, a pair of grandparents - mine, years ago)
Florence, near Charleston
more talk multi-cultural (did the Irish have it bad?
at the pow wow (listening, the resident Indian)
Me overcome at the pow wow Saturday,
Wasn't prepared (too prepared, living inside me,
history
as if I were there I wasn't committing genocide
walking walking there
On the long march and they called out by name
holding high the flag of the United
States of America
(why?
names, tribe after tribe after
tribe, solemnly
soft,
gentle lift-up padding
rhythmic
"follow the drums"
TEARS! "Reaffirming
our survival, the flag reminds us"
And other talk (Larry and Baltimore
Frederick Douglass
poem, his)
the slaves (Africans in Africa) had slaves
I know not the same Kings by comparison
ALWAYS SLAVERY: this kind
and that
America succeeded where no other
had
institutionalized a business
your wealth ($800 in New Orleans)
America succeeded timewise won the record
Began where? talk about John Curl's
"Columbus and the
Bay of Pigs"
Who started it? (surely not Columbus)
yes
whole peoples killed
for gold
(melted and put it in the Spaniard's throat
slight revenge)
it looks improbable
(peek into a culture
where
vultures once raped see
a kettle boiling
let's all get together and have
a picnic
don't think so
leave it to heaven
multi-cultural is a word to lay with
leave it to heaven
multi-cultural is a word to get money
leave it to heaven
however
keep trying you can believe
whatever
that's the magic?
("magic and mysticism," Larry said
words.
love,
Jesse
p.s.
Also discussed:
music might be read Larry said as words are
(and since words and music go together)
poems are heard
(I know, Jack Foley says ORAL
tradition
Larry: "but it's not the whole story"
poems are heard (are read)
so music why not?
(we read "Pastorale" written for
Beethoven's 5th)
composing music Jesse said Piston made no sense
(at first)
I had to come from inside out
to understand
(trying to figure out
the world by myself
variably
poets do it
when it's all already
been done)
poems
inspired by almost everything
life inspired by poems.
—Dorothy Jesse Beagle